I hate winter so much right now that I want to kick it in the nuts. I cannot stress to you enough how bad winter is. Its bad. Seriously if winter ever goes missing, check my trunk for the body. As far as I am concerned as soon as Dec 26th hits winter can get the hell out of town. There is just nothing good about it after Christmas is over. Okay well that’s not entirely true because there is one. I like how it covers the front yard so people can’t tell that we have a near dead lawn. Besides that winter just sucks. We can’t go outside so we all have cabin fever and just today John said I was so obnoxious he wanted a divorce. I blame the winter for my failed marriage.
Its cold, its wet, the bottom of my pants are always soaked, I have to put on shoes and socks, I have to wear a coat that makes me feel claustrophobic when I’m in the car, shoveling the driveway sucks, so does scraping the windshield. Our heating bill is a million dollar and we run it so low that we are still freezing. I have slipped on the ice 4 times going out to get the mail. Our garbage cans are frozen to the ground and each week I have to spend 20 minutes dislodging them just to put them at the curb. Dry skin. Hat hair. Wet shoes. Wet carpet. Seasonal depression. Stupid Utah drivers thinking they can speed in a storm because they have 4-wheel drive. Smog. How everything smells like a wet dog.
The worst thing of all though, the stray cats that have taken up in our garage. Its like a cat betrothal house out there. That’s what we get for just leaving a bag of cat food out there for Mister Kitty. It smells like cat pee really bad and now all our precious garage junk is smelly. Also now when I go out to our garage fridge (which is not a fridge, we just keep our sodas sitting in the garage because winter keeps them chilly. Okay so that is two things I like about winter) I am bombarded by hungry cats. One in particular that John has named “Senior Gato”. He’s fat and looks liek Garfeild. He has a bent ear from too many kitty fights. John thinks we should keep him. I told him if he still hangs around after winter is over we will think about it.
So yeah, Winter, it blows.
I hate winter so much right now that I want to kick it in the nuts. I cannot stress to you enough how bad winter is. Its bad. Seriously if winter ever goes missing, check my trunk for the body. As far as I am concerned as soon as Dec 26th hits winter can get the hell out of town. There is just nothing good about it after Christmas is over. Okay well that’s not entirely true because there is one. I like how it covers the front yard so people can’t tell that we have a near dead lawn. Besides that winter just sucks. We can’t go outside so we all have cabin fever and just today John said I was so obnoxious he wanted a divorce. I blame the winter for my failed marriage.
Its cold, its wet, the bottom of my pants are always soaked, I have to put on shoes and socks, I have to wear a coat that makes me feel claustrophobic when I’m in the car, shoveling the driveway sucks, so does scraping the windshield. Our heating bill is a million dollar and we run it so low that we are still freezing. I have slipped on the ice 4 times going out to get the mail. Our garbage cans are frozen to the ground and each week I have to spend 20 minutes dislodging them just to put them at the curb. Dry skin. Hat hair. Wet shoes. Wet carpet. Seasonal depression. Stupid Utah drivers thinking they can speed in a storm because they have 4-wheel drive. Smog. How everything smells like a wet dog.
The worst thing of all though, the stray cats that have taken up in our garage. Its like a cat betrothal house out there. That’s what we get for just leaving a bag of cat food out there for Mister Kitty. It smells like cat pee really bad and now all our precious garage junk is smelly. Also now when I go out to our garage fridge (which is not a fridge, we just keep our sodas sitting in the garage because winter keeps them chilly. Okay so that is two things I like about winter) I am bombarded by hungry cats. One in particular that John has named “Senior Gato”. He’s fat and looks liek Garfeild. He has a bent ear from too many kitty fights. John thinks we should keep him. I told him if he still hangs around after winter is over we will think about it.
So yeah, Winter, it blows.