I miss being a normal mom. I miss being a normal woman who does normal things that other normal moms do. I miss it. Its been over 6 years now since our world was turned upside down - with Isaac being born a normal baby- and then suffering after each vaccination- without us even knowing what was going on.
We knew something was wrong, and I just wanted him to be better.
Now we are striving towards that "normal" that we could have once had, and we are struggling.
everyday I get frustrated because there are moms and dads out there that have normal kids.
Don't get me wrong, I love my child, but I regret ever getting him vaccinated.
I regret that I didn't just say No and go with my instinct even after I questioned the military midwife about the link between autism and vaccines. I love my son, and that's why I am trying to help him get better...
I have learned much along the way that has really tested me, really torn me apart.
I have a lot to learn about life, and this is just one thing that really keeps kicking me.
I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, or my son, I just want to be a normal mom.
I have three girls too- and they sometimes have to suffer not being the center of attention as much- because more focus has to be on Isaac. They have to clean up a lot of Isaac's dumpings. By this I mean that nothing in our house is safe from his hands. He will go around and dump things of counters, off tables, and run away laughing. This to me is infuriating, because if he was a normal child he would get a swat on the backside, or a time out.
But he isn't normal so what am I to do?
One of his behavior therapist have shown me to do redirection which helps somewhat- but in order to get to him, I think its going to take probably a thousand of those redirects in order for him to get it.
I have needed therapy for what has happened in our lives, its hard struggling with a special needs child, especially when I know it could have been prevented.
Art therapy is something that can help, and so I have decided to do a monthly Art therapy at a local center downtown. I am hoping that it will help.
One day- I know One day without a doubt we will have that Normal - whatever it may be- a normal family doing normal things, with normal kids, and not having a care in the world.
I have read in the past about other Autism moms who have "indulgences" things to help them get thru the day.
I can list a couple of them here
A good cup of decaf with hazelnut creamer, not even worrying about calories or ingredients.
A nice order of Mary Kay products - not worrying about the price ( not tooo much) and the ingredients
A good hot steaming bath, with the door closed, and locked.
A quiet movie on Netflix by myself after the kids have gone to bed.
I may not be a normal mom right now, but I am the mom to my kids, and the warrior mom to my bubba. I can never give up on him, never except the defeat that Autism tries to bring. There is always hope for recovery, always hope for better mental function, and improvement in his injured body. With God all things are possible.
Isaac has nothing to loose, but everything to gain- to get better.
We knew something was wrong, and I just wanted him to be better.
Now we are striving towards that "normal" that we could have once had, and we are struggling.
everyday I get frustrated because there are moms and dads out there that have normal kids.
Don't get me wrong, I love my child, but I regret ever getting him vaccinated.
I regret that I didn't just say No and go with my instinct even after I questioned the military midwife about the link between autism and vaccines. I love my son, and that's why I am trying to help him get better...
I have learned much along the way that has really tested me, really torn me apart.
I have a lot to learn about life, and this is just one thing that really keeps kicking me.
I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, or my son, I just want to be a normal mom.
I have three girls too- and they sometimes have to suffer not being the center of attention as much- because more focus has to be on Isaac. They have to clean up a lot of Isaac's dumpings. By this I mean that nothing in our house is safe from his hands. He will go around and dump things of counters, off tables, and run away laughing. This to me is infuriating, because if he was a normal child he would get a swat on the backside, or a time out.
But he isn't normal so what am I to do?
One of his behavior therapist have shown me to do redirection which helps somewhat- but in order to get to him, I think its going to take probably a thousand of those redirects in order for him to get it.
I have needed therapy for what has happened in our lives, its hard struggling with a special needs child, especially when I know it could have been prevented.
Art therapy is something that can help, and so I have decided to do a monthly Art therapy at a local center downtown. I am hoping that it will help.
One day- I know One day without a doubt we will have that Normal - whatever it may be- a normal family doing normal things, with normal kids, and not having a care in the world.
I have read in the past about other Autism moms who have "indulgences" things to help them get thru the day.
I can list a couple of them here
A good cup of decaf with hazelnut creamer, not even worrying about calories or ingredients.
A nice order of Mary Kay products - not worrying about the price ( not tooo much) and the ingredients
A good hot steaming bath, with the door closed, and locked.
A quiet movie on Netflix by myself after the kids have gone to bed.
I may not be a normal mom right now, but I am the mom to my kids, and the warrior mom to my bubba. I can never give up on him, never except the defeat that Autism tries to bring. There is always hope for recovery, always hope for better mental function, and improvement in his injured body. With God all things are possible.
Isaac has nothing to loose, but everything to gain- to get better.