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A birthday party, a trip to California and etc

Posted Nov 16 2010 10:22am
A trip  to California

I had a conference coming up

And since DH and R have not seen California ever - we all decided to go along together

One of my good friends from Grad School lives there and we decided to meet up and see the San Diego Zoo


The weather was just perfect and my friend and her daughter were so much fun and the zoo was great

There are amazing animals at this zoo

I had no idea Orangutans were this big ( see behind us )
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But R was all whine and cling


All he wants to do is go back to the hotel . Plus he has woken up really really early.( 3.30 am ) because of the time difference between the coasts

He is finally happy when he saw something familiar in the zoo gift shop -
A Santa display !!!
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DH and I plough through things like this  discomfort though - new experiences are very very important for Auties and its critical not to to get stuck( trapped )  in our comfort zone

I repeated Temple Grandin's words in my head  - "keep increasing the web pages.. since autie brains can work like google images .. the more web pages there are the more they will have to work off of "

We are staying right next to the fabulous Gas Lamp district and the first day he does not want to take a walk at all
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He loves hotels ( the whole idea that there are the same chains in every place is a great comfort to him and he will spell out Hilton and Residence Inn or Embassy Suites with great glee everytime we go to one of these )
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Above he is in the pool which he loves.

He copes with the strangeness of new places - by finding patterns of sameness- as in he will only want to go to the pool or go to restaurants ( especially if they are chains that we always go to like the ubiquitous Mc Donalds )

But we firmly ( but kindly ) insist he go the first day

The remaining three days however he goes with aplomb and we have a great time - which is a great reminder that one must not give up - if things dont turn out well the first time with an autie. Its a sure way to limit ones world
( Think about it - example, if you think taking walks dont work - and try something else  - you have misssed the point . The child is not  really responding negatively to the activity but to the newness of it- and everything will be new if you try only once or twice. Consequently you will think "nothing works" and give up trying. This is something I learned from DH - as I am quick to give up   )

We do word hunts .

( In school they are doing T , I and P this week and so we do word hunts of these letters .( T and P are really easy - trash, table, train , tracks, etc or Parking , pedestrian etc , But "I" is hard and if we had not spotted an Indian restaurant and had  a beverage with ice in it - we would have been stumped )

His birthday is on Tuesday

Last year was the first time he had even shown the remotest of interest in a birthday and we have mistakenly assumed that we can just have a simple birthday party and he will be fine

To some extent he is -

We buy him a whole bunch of junk presents we know he will love like-  letters numbers, magnetic words etc

he lolls about reading his card,  most interested



We go to the hard Rock Cafe and have a little party for him
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But suddenly in the evening he bursts into tears and says "Birthday party surprise"

And so we remember that last year we had done a little party in school and realise that he must be worried that he will have no birthday party

We promise a birthday party when we get back and collude with his wonderful class teacher ( no social request is every ignored . In fact R asks for so little - we usually do whatever he asks for as long as its not harmful )

The party

DH is simply an artistic genius  and cuts up the cake in the shape of a letter 6 and decorates it with his amazing cream cheese icing . DH is one of those cooks in whose hands  everything tastes beter and the cake is amazing

I tell the teachers not to send any home( for I am a fool for cream cheese )

R is thrilled when we arrive in school with all the paraphrenelia of his "Little People" Birthday set that he has been pretend playing with these past few days - balloons, birthday hats, themed paper plates etc .

It is a GRAND party
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A small kerfuffle breaks down over who can have all the balloons but firtunately we have come prepared with loads of extras and all sorrows are appeased quickly

Etc
One of the saddest things last month is that a couple we are very very close to are breaking up. We are having a very very hard time dealing with this as we love them both very much and they had a great marriage.

Sometimes I think that one of the most important things to remember about marriage is just how fragile it can be and how one has to keep working at it

People can never stop becoming a mother or a father no matter what their child does but people  can always stop being a husband or a wife.

The woods around our cabin are stunning this time of the year ..I go for solitary walks and eat up all the color
I look at the trees the way R has taught me to - up not at

So they are framed against the sky. Truly the greatest artist- the one with the most vivid imagination -  is nature

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I find great peace in the woods and the sound of the wind

Its as though the trees are saying.

Slow down - why do you worry so much ?

What's with all the rush ?

 Do you know how many people have walked these woods thinking how important and big their worries were? Do you know how wrong they were? Stay in the here and now. Dont worry about things that you have no control over.

And I return renewed 
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