Me: The patient is totally unresponsive to voice or pain. Here’s her ABG. Her CO2 is 135, pH is in the shitter. We’re ready to intubate whenever you are.
Doctor: Hmmm. I bet she’s tight. Why don’t you give her an hourlong neb and maybe we’ll consider BiPAP after that.
Me: Does anybody have any aspirin? My head hurts.