Had several firsts last night in the NICU. Had a 1 lb 2 oz baby which is the smallest baby I've taken care of so far. Had a 2 lb-er who self-extubated and was an almost impossible reintubation. Man, that's the point where because you don't restrain babies, per se, you sure wish you could super glue or duct tape the tube in just to keep them safe from themselves. That was a two hour process and I learned last night that while codes and critical crises with adults is stressful, psychologically, it's nothing compared to the stress of handling a coding/critical baby. It's just different. I don't know that I can explain it other than it's just different. Maybe it's because with adults you sort of see the why, as in multi-organ failure usually, where with babies it's hard to wrap your head around losing a baby just because he's premature.
That feels more unfair. Maybe it's not but it feels that way.
Also, since I bitched and complained about being disappointed in my training I'll share the news when it's good too. Although I thought it was a done deal and I had given up over the shorted training days, the grapevine helped me get the attention of a person who could help and that person is rectifying the situation. I won't technically be in training but I will be generously assigned to the NICU for the next month so that I can finish developing those skills I didn't have the opportunity to develop because of not getting a full orientation. I am relieved and thrilled and feel such a burden has been lifted off me. So even though last night was hard and I am so freaking tired I can hardly type, I have nothing but positive feelings again for the NICU and my job again.