I went in to Assess & Treat a copd exacerbation and when I said "Can I borrow your finger?" to get a pulse ox reading the old man in the bed next to him said "OMG, don't pull on it. He farts enough the way it is!"
And then they both giggled through the rest of the assessment.
How can you not laugh? I told them to stay out of trouble but if they insisted on getting in to trouble, to call me and I'd go with them.