Here's a few things at work that make me think, if not say out loud, "Are you effin' kiddin' me?"
Get called for a stat PRN breathing tx for a pt who's in much distress. Go up to the room but pt's gone. Ask the nurse. Every nurse at the nurse's station at that time whips their head around as the pt's RN mutters "I'm going to effin' kill her." Apparently said pt disappears several times a day "to walk" but is gone for a half hour and comes back in haze of cigarette smoke. Let's go over this again: has the balls gall to call for an "emergency" tx because she "can't breathe" but can ride down an elevator 8 flights and walk out the door and a 1/4 mile out to the sidewalk at the far edge of the hospital property in an open gown and pushing an IV pole to smoke but "needs" a stat breathing tx. Are you effin' kidding me?
My response was "You know...this isn't directed at you guys (RN's) but we're REALLY busy tonight and I don't have time for this crap. When she comes back and requests the tx again I'll be up when I can but I might have to have a smoke first." (I don't smoke.) The RN's all busted out laughing and said "We hear ya, sister. Not a problem for us."
When a pt calls for a stat tx telling the RN she can't breathe, I leave my DYING Bipap pt just to be told when I enter the stat tx pt's room that "I really need this tx because I have a tickle in the back of my throat." "Are ya effin' kiddin' me?" She also happened to be wheezing but she wasn't aware of that fact although I made her aware the xopenex is for airway closure, not throat tickles, and that she was, indeed, wheezing and that fact was the only reason I was giving the tx.
When we take transfers from smaller hospitals of pt's who are either diagnosed as "Acute Repsiratory Failure" when the ABG clearly shows a metabolic acidosis OR the "Acute Respiratory Failure" because "that Co2 is 65!!!" but the pH is 7.37....Are ya effin' kiddin' me?
But other than all that, it was a great night! Really!