Lesson: Never ignore a nagging feeling or thought. I don't know how many times I've been taught this, but I still forget it. And it's not just the looming thoughts that something bad is going to happen or that you forgot something, it's all thoughts and feelings. Like a really strong desire to eat something or go on vacation somewhere or talk to someone or go to a movie or show...I don't know what else, but everything that just keeps nagging at you...there's a reason. It's your intuition speaking.
My first lesson with this, which never manifested as anything bad, because I listened to my intuition. But anyway, what happened was that I really wanted local friends who were going through the same thing as me. Friends with JRA in my town. So I started a support group and posted flyers in a local coffee shop. The owner of that shop directed me to a Meetup.com group where I met someone who had gone to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, which is that first time I had hear of that school (I am now enrolled in the school). Now my whole life is changing because I am enrolled at IIN and I'm starting a new career in Health Counseling and I am feeling more empowered, despite the bad days in pain. I just met with a fellow student and she encouraged me to check out WWOOF- USA which is an organization that helps you find organic farms to volunteer at in exchange for room and board. I have been wanting to do this for a long time, but just didn't know where to look. Now I know. My point is that my whole life course changed just by deciding to start that support group that I felt I needed.
Recently though, my intuition has been speaking to me and I have not been listening. It takes practice to open your heart to your intuition fully, and it is difficult, especially for those who have been in chronic pain or who have been hurt, physically and emotionally. My energy healer always tells me that when you ignore your intuition, it manifests as energy blocks and inflammation in the body. She also tells me that If I were meant to be where I am right now in life, I would be happy and things wouldn't be so hard. For awhile I had resigned to my life and said, okay, the universe must be telling me (through my disease) to slow down and be where I am. But then why am I so unhappy being where I am? I am unhappy with the pain and fatigue, I am unhappy with my living situation, I am unhappy with my social situation, I am unhappy with my life. I am desiring other things. And we can all agree, it is not good to continually live a life that brings you unhappiness, not only is it painful to live that life everyday, but it is hurtful on deep, spiritual emotional and physical levels.
I am looking for a new living situation, and I'm not worried too much about how I'm going to "get there," but I know that if I believe it and visualize it, the universe will manifest it for me. I'm opening doorways and looking for opportunities. I'm researching and taking steps. I'm being open to the answer. I don't know how long it will take, or how it will happen, but I'm putting the wheel in motion.
I have been telling myself that I need to wait until I heal, wait until my symptoms go down, but then I start thinking, "when will that happen? I am so sick, it's never going to happen." So, of course, the negative thoughts are holding me back from healing, and from living. I think I am holding my self back from healing by holding myself back in other areas of my life.
On another note, I know that just changing my thoughts and my living situation alone won't get this Lyme bacteria under control, so I've been adding as many naturally antimicrobial herbs and foods into my diet and skin care regimen as I can. I feel like I have to help my body out as much as possible. Natural anti microbials include: ginger, garlic, grapefruit seed extract, tea tree oil, rosemary, sage, oregano, cloves, cinnamon, tumeric, probiotic foods like raw sauerkraut and lacto-fermented beverages, coconut oil, hydrogen peroxide, raw honey, sea salt, and onions. I've been eating 2 cloves of garlic/day cut up and sprinkled into my soup. I drink ginger tea with lunch and dinner, use coconut oil to cook with, mix raw honey, cloves and cinnamon in my yogurt, eat sauerkraut with lunch and dinner, use tumeric in my soups. I use hand cream with grapefruit seed extract, tea tree oil in my hand soap, hydrogen peroxide in my mouthwash, and rosemary, clove, cinnamon, and sage essential oils in my deodorant.