Panic disorder finds its way ont...

Panic disorder finds its way onto reality TV.
Melissa McNulty, who was all set to endure the harsh physical conditions and emotional sparring of "Survivor: Fiji," made her way to the remote location of this season's version of the reality show, but quit before the first episode even began filming. The reason? Her panic disorder:

Doing Survivor was a huge challenge for me. Everybody who goes on the show has different reasons and goals. Part of mine was that I suffered from panic attacks, and I thought, "What better way to face that challenge?" I was there in Fiji for almost two weeks before I took myself out of the game and came back to Los Angeles.

...My No. 1 trigger is being in a situation where I can't get out. I get a claustrophobia kind of panic. I had multiple panic attacks in one day, which I've never experienced before. I tried to pull myself together, but....

Although the specifics of her experience aren't common, this part of her reaction to having panic get in the way of what she wanted to do certainly is:

But I'm kicking myself in the butt. I know I should be on this! I was chosen, I was ready. I know I could have won some challenges. Outwit, outlast, outplay. I had it down, but I didn't last.

Still, McNulty's a model for anyone suffering from panic, in the way she's simultaneously accepting of and pushing back against having panic in her life:

In many people's eyes, they'll think I failed, but in my own eyes, I succeeded. I was really pressing my limits to even go on the show. It was really awful when I came back, but now I can fly on a plane without a panic attack, I can sit in the back seat of a car.... There's many things I can do that I couldn't before. I'm a stronger person because of this. Also, before I was embarrassed by my panic attacks, and now I've decided to be honest and not shy away. Forty million people deal with this!