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The Blur Before We Depart.

Posted Jan 05 2009 11:08pm
Clearly, I cannot keep up with a blog. Life keeps happening and blogging does not.
Much has happened since my last post...much that I hope to get down in writing at some point, but right now it's down to thisDaddy passed away this afternoon.
January 5, 2009 just before 4 pm.
My brother and I had already visited him today, but when I dropped my brother off, I just, I dunno, had this dread fill my gut. I went back to the Nursing Home, and Daddy already looked different. He wasn't moving, but something was happening. He felt cold. I checked his feet...they said that "mottling" would occur when he "was close"...and there it was. I kept running my hand over his forehead and cheeks. I told him I was so sorry he had to go through all of this, and that I loved him.
Then he was suddenly burning up, sweating even.
I was standing beside him, my eyes watching as his breathing slowed at a steady pace, then ceased, my fingers feeling his pulse drifting away one beat less each time. And his temperature was dropping rapidly.
In those last beats of his heart...he seemed at peace. I have to hope that is true. He did not struggle in those final moments. He simply slipped away.
As I realized that this was his final goodbye, this was really happening, this was it...that Lewy had finally won...I watched as the oddest thing occured: I could not completely focus on him...there was this...this "static" around him, a blur to the edges of his entire being. About an inch of "space" surrounded him...a fuzzy layer of distortion. My heart raced.
Is this what people are talking about when they say they've seen a soul leave a person's body? I have to say that I am holding on to that theory...that I witnessed my Daddy's soul lift out of his tired, confused, withered body...and that he was on to somewhere with no pain, no hallucinations, no arms and legs and brain that betrayed him at every move...on to a place that Lewy cannot enter.
Roy C. Frie was born in Dexter, New Mexico on October 29, 1934. He enlisted as a Marine during the Korean Conflict, and moved to California shortly thereafter. He has been a CA resident ever since. His main line of work was heating and air until his retirement.
He enjoyed reminiscing about days gone by, his days in New Mexico, when times were simpler and a whole day at the cinema cost about a dollar.
In the last few years he was preceeded in death by his beloved stepfather, his mother, wife, and only sister. And, actually, at least a dozen other family members that I honestly couldn't organize names to if I tried.
Services will be private and he will be laid to rest in Roswell, New Mexico alongside numerous members of his family.
He will be missed, and we will try to remember him as he was before Lewy took over, before the funny parts about him were stretched and twisted into what Lewy made him into. He is survived by his two daughters, his son, and 3 grandchildren.
I will hold on to that remarkable sight I saw this afternoon for as long as my mind allows me to...that fuzzy, bright aura that lifted itself from a body that could no longer hold a soul on a mission...the blur before we depart this world.
I love you Daddy. Be at peace now.
(And can you please tell Nany [or whomever it is] to stop messing with all my electricity!?)

{{{{{{{{{{one last hug}}}}}}}}}}
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