Help Mom Understand That Getting Help with Dad’s Care Is Okay
Posted Mar 21 2010 12:00am
Dear Carol: My mother is the primary caregiver to my dad who had a stroke. I help as much as I can, but I work full time and have children. Mom is not young and has her own problems, but she is stubborn about hiring some help with Dad. They can afford it. How do I convince her she needs help? Sara Dear Sara: This isn’t uncommon with older couples. They vowed to care for one another until “death do us part.” That’s commendable, but the vows don’t mean that a well but aging spouse can’t get help caring for a sick spouse. Indeed, it’s often better for both of them. In-home health care agencies can be a real boon with this care. You mom will likely resist, but if you keep telling her she is still the primary caregiver and that the in-home person will do what she wants, that may help.