I wrote a letter to Fordham's President explaining o u r u niqe sit u ation. He in t u rn forwarded my letter to the Dean of Admissions. I called today and spoke with him and he matter of factly, and witho u t any kind of u nderstanding, stated that if Co u rtney is accepted again this year, we sho u ld not expect ANYWHERE near the amo u nt of the financial aid offer she was awarded as an incoming freshman. He told me that my expections for transfer aid were not within reach and he said it rather coldly, completely contradicting the val u e of the religio u s basis of the u niversity. Co u rtney had applied to Fordham last year and was accepted (she got the acceptance letter when Mike was in the hospital and we were all thrilled). At the time, we tho u ght that was the only h u rdle to clear. Wrong.......Tr u th be told, Alzheimer's Disease has nearly bankr u pted u s. On SO MANY LEVELS, we are str u ggling. It is beca u se of the catostrophic sit u ation with Mike and his illness that my credit is shot. I was not approved for a Parent Loan and my credit made me i nelligible to co-sign a st u dent loan for Co u rtney. Not only has Co u rtney watched her dad disintegrate right before her eyes, not only has she witnessed and end u red more than most people wo u ld in their entire ad u lt life , b u t now her dream of attending Fordham has been sq u ashed. Right now my even bigger worry is whether Co u rtney (and event u ally Brandon) will be able to contin u e her college ed u cation. Mike's u ncle offered a personal loan to Co u rtney for this year, b u t the next 3 years are u p for grabs. Witho u t a st u dent loan, we cannot afford college and we cannot get a st u dent loan beca u se she doesn't have a q u alifed co-signor. With everything I have done for Mike and the kids, this sit u ation still makes me feel like I'm a fail u re as a parent. I write this thro u gh tears beca u se it's j u st one more worry, one more hardship and one more piece of o u r lives that has been destroyed by Alzheimer's Disease. I've ALWAYS told my children to never give u p hope, b u t right now I'm having a diffic u lt time listening to my own advise.
I had off today to assist the s u bstit u te aide for Mike since she does not know his sched u le. I planned on u sing the time that Mike naps to get some paperwork and calls done, b u t after that depressing call to Fordham and the u ncertainty of Co u rtney's college ed u cation, I co u ldn't concentrate. I accomplished nothing.
I know if I was a single mom, widowed mom or if Mike didn't live with u s, Co u rtney wo u ld get more aid. Once again, it seems like we are being "p u nished" for doing the right thing. Beca u se we love Mike and keep him well and keep him at home, my children's f u t u res are in danger.