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Wrong Impulse (Purchase)

Posted May 10 2009 7:55am
I dashed into the neighborhood drugstore fully intending to buy only a patella tendon knee band, but got a bit sidetracked. One of those eye-catching displays promising to make shaving your legs less of a pain sucked me in and suckered me into buying with out thinking.
There are a couple of issues involved in keeping smooth gams when you have a corn allergy. First, of course, none of those nice shaving creams or gels are safe. If the corn-based fragrance doesn’t do you in, the corn derived alcohols and vitamins will deliver the final blow. Even disposable razors are an issue. Ever since they came out with the smooth strips with moisturizer on them, they’ve been full of corn too. So really, who can blame a gal for getting her head turned by the display for “Smooth Away!”?

I did take a moment to read the package. It promises to let you rub away hair with micro-crystals. Micro-crystals sound inert and corn safe to me. One of the gals in the office had been talking about using a similar product she bought in Mexico years ago that had worked great for her, so really it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I took it home and followed the directions to try it on a small patch of skin. Being cautious, but not really thinking about an allergic reaction, I did about ½ way up my shin. It worked great, for about 30 seconds I was really happy with the product. This is it, I though, no more razors!

I barely had time to complete the thought before my early warning allergy signs hit. I was so surprised that I stood in front of the bathroom mirror to watch my lip swell up to make sure I wasn’t imaging this. By the time I started to develop Elvis Lip (one of my all-time favorite reaction looks) my leg was itchy and mottled an alien sort of purple – that startled me enough to run for the Benadryl.

After the Benadryl coma, err nap, I took a moment to think about how I had just poisoned myself. Micro-crystals seem like an okay thing to rub on your skin; HOWEVER, just what is holding those micro-crystals to the paper? Corn based adhesives of course. *headdesk* That was a big lapse of judgment. If there is not a single safe moisturizer out there, why would I think I could rub this stuff allover me. Fortunately, I caught the reaction before Epi-Pen time and I can pass the rest of the box onto someone at work. In the future I’ll try to keep my impulse purchases at the drugstore constrained to the hairbands and barrettes aisle – until corn winds up in those somehow.
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