On Sunday, I blogged about an experience my son had while in preschool. It seems that since he has begun school and ventured away from our home, we continue to meet more and more people who are reluctant to accommodate his food allergies.
We almost never give up on trying to educate someone. We have multiple tactics we use to provide information and/or express our disappointment of how someone chooses to respond to our child’s condition. Our first tactic is to act as helpful educators or volunteers. Next we develop passive-aggressive behavior and become enforcers of civil liberties. And finally, when all else fails, we pick up the phone and call our lawyer.
On a personal front, after the lawyers come to an agreement and the situation is momentarily over, we often are left with a bad taste in our mouths. Our entire family has, at one time or another, been hurt by someone because of their insensitivity towards food allergies.
What’s a family to do?
We send them to THE ISLAND. We came up with the concept for THE ISLAND after my son’s preschool teacher fed him a cookie with egg in it. When the lawyers were done “mediating” and new contracts were signed, we were left feeling...ANGRY and sad. So, we came up with idea that we should ship all persons who are noncompliant or unsympathetic to our plight to an island very far away.
Here is how someone becomes a resident on the island...
First - They must commit a food allergy crime such as; unwillingness to accommodate our child, made fun of food allergies, taunted our son, tried to feed our son unsafe food or refused to believe that food allergies are serious.
Second - They are unwilling to try to right the wrong they have committed.
That’s it! If those two requirements have been met, they have won an all expense paid trip to THE ISLAND.
The best part of sending someone to THE ISLAND is giving this person a job. The job always fits the food allergy crime. An example would be if someone refuses to listen to scientific evidence that food allergies are deadly, they would need to become a librarian on THE ISLAND. This way they have all the time and resources needed to become better educated on food allergies. The worst job on THE ISLAND is being a Port-a-potty Sanitizer. We give this job to all those people we feel will never “get it”.
Nothing brings a smile to our son’s face faster then when we say, “So, did Ms. So and So board the plane yet?” It makes him laugh in the face of adversity and for a child with food allergies that will most likely last a lifetime...that is a skill he needs to have!