So I realized how much of a staple alcohol and bars are in our darling society. I was thinking about catching up with some friends recently and realized that the most common way to do that is to suggest "meeting up for a drink" or doing happy hour. So I was trying to think of other things to do and for some reason it seems normal to me to just hang out or get coffee with a girl, but doing that with a boy seems odd, haha. Then I figured I could always suggest going to get a drink and then just get a soda, but would the other person feel odd? Like so why did you bring me to a bar if you are just getting soda? Is the only reason to go to bars to get drunk? Food for thought. And if you have any suggestions for "meeting up plans", let me know!
Another thing I realized is how my anxiety has decreased. I am not sure if anyone can relate, but since every time I drank I did something stupid (e.g. peed on furniture, ran away, got in a fight, cried, hooked up with someone I shouldn't have), I ended up spending a lot of my weekdays apologizing to people and worrying that they were mad at me. Obviously your friends are going to say its okay, but I knew deep down they were mad and that bothered me. But now I don't have to worry about that!!
And my last realization for today is my change of thought process when I am making plans or figuring out living situations, etc. Before I wanted to make sure that I lived somewhere that cabs were near and that I could walk even walk home from the bars to. Before when I made plans I took into consideration how hungover I could potentially be that day. So I would never commit to do anything Saturday mornings. I would also plan my work schedule on being hungover...so if there was football or something, I would need to take off that Monday because clearly I am going to get so hammered that I probably can't go to work. And as for living...when I was looking for places to live before, I checked to make sure they didn't have nice furniture and they were hard drinkers. And I got very anxious and paranoid when I looked at places that had nice sofas...because who knows, I could end up on the couch and pee and then my random roommate that I am trying to get to like me now hates me. BUT since I don't have to worry of the aftermath of my drinking anymore, I can make plans that I can stick to, I can go to work and be functional and still go out on Sundays or weekdays, I can pick places to live without worrying that I will ruin their couch with pee or puke.
It is a very nice and relaxing feeling. It is nice to know that now I am in control of my actions and I don't have to worry about what I will do when I am "drunk erica".
**Side note- I have lost weight since I stopped drinking just naturally, and I would appreciate if people would stop commenting in a disgusted manner. I am sorry if you think I look tiny but since I am eating normally and working out not excessively, I believe this is how my body is meant to look. Be nice :) Thanks!