what is it that makes an alcoholic feel so much fear?
Posted Oct 05 2009 10:03pm
Curious to see how people are arriving at my little blog, I was clicking around and found that someone googled "what is it that makes an alcoholic feel so much fear?" and apparently was directed over here.
Well, that got me thinking, which always a high-risk sport for me. Exactly what is it that makes me, an alcoholic, feel so much fear? Is it the case that I truly feel more fear than the average bear? As in, if scientist could quantify fear, would alcoholics as a class have more of it than average? Perhaps, but my hunch is that that's probably not the case.
From experience my guess is that my reaction to fear tends to get me into more trouble than it does others. This was really, really obvious when I was drinking as my fear led to drinking which led to every possible sort of problem you can imagine. Now that I'm not drinking, my fear still gets me into a host of problems. I get afraid and my first thought is how I am going to get myself out of this feeling, how am I going to change my circumstances so they stop "making me" afraid, how am I going to change you so that you stop "making me" afraid. Oy vey! All of those are a recipe for disaster, disappointment, despair because they don't work and eventually back to drinking.
"Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt." -pg. 62 Alcoholics Anonymous