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Songs I remember from the past

Posted Oct 13 2009 10:05pm
Stationed in what was then West Germany, circa 1978...



"Angel of darkness is upon you. Stuck a needle in your arm. So take another toke, have a blow for your nose. One more drink fool, will drown you"

The one thing that stands out about this song, at this time, is that we listened to it over and over, while doing exactly what the lyrics warn against. We heard the words, but we didn't listen

And it reminds me of the time when all I cared about was getting high or drunk. Nothing really mattered, not health, not a career, actually not even living - with the exception of existing for the next opportunity to get stoned.

Which, as I look back, seems to be the mindset of an addict, and the manner in which I lived. There were many bottoms after this time period, and really, never an epiphany that I needed to change. Recovery has been a very slow journey for me, and I've been down quite a few side roads along the way.

I can't go back and change the past, it is what it is. However, I can take the steps to not repeat past mistakes, and continue to grow. This chance at living sober is a very generous gift that I have, one that I do not take for granted. Life is so very precious and fleeting, and I am extremely grateful to have a chance to experience it clean and sober. One day at a time.
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