On-line Weekend Al-Anon Meeting on; Step 2 - Came To Believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Step 2 suggests that there is a Power greater than we are that can restore us to sanity, whether we are living with active alcoholism or not. Step 2 reaffirms that we may be powerless, but we are not helpless AND WE ARE NOT ALONE. (this comes from Pathways to Recovery, with the caps for emphasis being my own). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For so long, I did not believe in a Higher Power. I did believe that we were all connected some how. I know I have been the beneficiary of goodness, and luck, or synchronicity.
But with alcoholism affecting me and my family (I am the spouse of an alcoholic), I needed some one - some thing - to lean upon. In many ways, I had given up. I began to feel unconfident. I began to get down. My spouse would say mean things, be selfish, and insincere and deceitful.
If I would gain a moment of sanity, I would have 30 moments of insanity with the alcoholic and the ensuing chaos. Soon, with the advent of this program, the numbers started to reverse. I would have more moments of sanity than insanity. I still regret and get bummed out about what is going on in my life and my family's life - and how it is affecting the entire family structure - but I know now I am not helpless. And I have focused on the "I AM NOT ALONE."
I have learned I can call friends in Al-Anon. And I can tell you, there have been some of the kindest and nicest people I have ever, ever met here. They will bend over backwards to help you - they have me - or at least offered. I am still a " newbie" - and therefore I am not good at accepting their help - but I have at times, but clearly not enough.
I learned that when I am truly alone, I am still not alone. I have learned to turn over to God or my HP, things that are just to big for me to be concerned with. I have asked God for forgiveness - for I still make mistakes. I pray for my qualifier, because she is the mother of our child and believe, under the shroud and layers of the disease, a good person. I pray for her to get well. I pray that others see the issue and help us. I pray that our daughter can see what a sane house and family looks like. For this prayer, I ask God for help, several times, at all hours of the night, every night. I also pray that some day, I will be able to stop asking him for help.
I have learned, too, that I am not helpless. And that believing in a power greater than ourselves, and being powerless - is not the same as helpless. Helpless, to me, is just learned hopelessness. Helpless, is giving up. It is becoming, well . . . feeble and weak. This is not to be mistaken with arrogance or a "false self" or being filled with ego.
I realize as it points out in this book, "Pathways," that there are others who too, have experienced these same problems and issues, and that over time, we all can find answers to our own dilemma. The same as other have done.
Step 2, is all about gaining help and sanity through asking for help through a Power greater than us, whether call him God or a Higher Power or a God of our understanding.
I never realized in the beginning of this program how spiritual Al-Anon is, how warm and accepting the people are, and how, if you allow yourself to be worked by the program, how enriching to the human spirit Al-Anon can be.
So, with Step 2, I leave you to comment and post your thoughts, feelings and prayers. And this is where we begin our discussion.