This weekend's On-line Weekend Al-Anon Meeting on; Step 1: Powerless over Alcohol.
We admitted we were powerlessness over alcohol - that our lives have become unmanageable. If you have found this website you are invited to join us in a weekend long, Al-Anon Meeting. The on-line meeting starts Friday evening 3/14/08 and runs to Sunday 3/16/08 evening.
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Our host for this weekend is me. He is an exceptional host and is well suited for this topic, as his life has been unmanageable. His qualifier is his wife. But he has a tough time being powerless over alcohol. He has stood toe-to-toe with alcohol, swinging jabs and uppercuts and winning several rounds. However, in the end, when the bell rang, for one more round, my charming and dear friend lost. I or he, did not know he really lost in round one, but his stubbornness, borne out of will and hardheadedness, was willing to "go one more round" - until in the end, alcohol raised it's gloved hand, the victor.
I have posted the message below which will start our meeting for the weekend's meeting on: "Step 1: Powerless over alcohol and our lives are unmanageable"
Hi, I am Joe.
I bring to you my version of trying to fix the alcoholic. I would try to understand the problem, what was going on in my house for the past several years, by analyzing why food would be burned, or dinner not even cooked. Why my wife was falling and staggering or not able to drive very well. I thought she was a "space cadet." In fact, now that I write this, she used to say, "All my friends think I am spacey."
I tried to fix her by asking to eat at specific times, certain it was a chemical imbalance, or PMS or no food combined with PMS, was creating her anger, her staggering, slurring of words, and so on. It seems stupid now, now that I know she was drinking. But who could have imagined? My wife drinking at 9AM or 10AM every day . . . day in and day out? Huh? What?
So, I tried fixing: Here drink water. Here, let's go exercise. And it worked. Because she was with me and couldn't drink. "See," I would say, "all you need is exercise (water, food, watch happy movies - you name it)." Pretty stupid.
Then one day, my brother, the doctor said, "Did you ever consider she might be drinking on the sly? Or doing drugs?" No way! No way! Then it dawned on me several hours later. "What was that glass clinking sound I heard? In the butler's pantry?" Then I found it. Wine bottles. They were all over the house. Empty!
Here I read from the book "How Al-Anon Works" "Each of our lives have been devastated by someone else's drinking. We cannot change that fact. We have been profoundly affected by the disease of alcoholism. Its effects continue to permeate our lives. Nor can we change the behavior or the attitudes of those around us. We can't even put a stop to the drinking. We are powerless over alcohol.
"As long as we continue to persist in the delusion that we can control or cure alcoholism, its symptoms, or its effects, we continue to fight a battle that we cannot win.
"Our self-esteem suffers [note to you reader: this impacted me big time. Work suffered. And my confidence was shell shocked], our relationships suffer, and our ability to enjoy life suffers.
". . . Whether or not we live with active drinking, life is unmanageable whenever we lose perspective about what is and is not our responsibility. We take offense with actions that have nothing to do with us. We intervene where it is inappropriate and neglect our legitimate obligations to ourselves and others.
". . . Putting an end to the battle requires completely redefining what we believe about ourselves, others, and our relationships. For example, many of us confuse love with interference. We don't know how to show affection or support without giving advice, seeking to sway another's decisions, or trying to get those we love to do what we think will bring them happiness."
Wow. This describes me, before I hit Al-Anon. I am a little concerned I could drift back into a meddling mindset - excusing my actions by stating "I am just trying to help." I really like the books Al-Anon provides because they fit our issues and aid specifically in our recovery.
This is where you can comment. You can post another excerpt or passage from another book. Or if you have a burning desire, post that.