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On-lIne Al-Anon Meeting Topic: Fear of Losing Something

Posted Oct 21 2008 12:55am

On-line Weekend Al-Anon Meeting on; Fear of Losing Something
If you have found this website you are invited to join us in a weekend long, Al-Anon Meeting.

The on-line meeting starts Friday evening 4/04/08 and runs to Sunday 4/06/08 evening.

Note: To view this post and the comments at the same time, click on the link here ( click here ) in order to get a better view of the original blog post and the comments.

Recently I came across a meeting that spoke of Fear. It was from a recent Men's Meeting. I want to read this passage from "Hope for Today," April 13.


Before I came into Al-Anon, my attitudes were based on fear. I cast all my doubts and feelings of unworthiness onto other people. I set myself up as a victim. I always acted upon my anxiety, and I was forever reacting. Most times my reactions came in the form of blaming, running, or freezing. When I blamed others, I didn't have to feel my deep sense of shame. I ran because facing my fear and hurt seemed too difficult. I froze because frozen hearts cannot feel pain.

Al-Anon gave me a fresh way to view my life. I no longer choose to be a victim. Now I choose how I act, how I think, and how I feel about any situation that arise. I can choose fear, or I can choose love. Fear keeps me shut off and unhealed. Love opens me up and heals me. Today I choose love.

Choosing love means I stay away from physically, emotionally, or spiritually unhealthy situations. I no longer accept unacceptable situations. I no longer accept unacceptable behavior. I love myself enough to walk away from hurtful people and relationships. I look at my part in situations, own mistakes, and change my behavior. Choosing love means I accept and embrace my humanity and that of others. Then, with my Higher Power's help, I can see the defects and weaknesses with compassion, which brings me release, joy, and serenity.

Thought for Today
If I look for fear, I'll find fear. If I look for love, I'll find love. Which one do I choose to seek today?


In the Men's Meeting I referred to above, one of the men pointed out that Fear can be fear of getting what I want or fear of losing what I have. Two, opposite and opposing thoughts.

Another man said, "I can't be afraid of losing something I wasn't supposed to have."

I notice when I act out of fear rather than love, I am out of balance with people. Fear is negative. Love is positive. The definition of "love" that I am using doesn't mean the love we know from romance. I am using "love" in the sense of compassion and caring, giving and knowing that when you give, you have an infinite supply, not a limited supply.

Fear causes us to react. And usually in a negative way.

So, this weekend's on-line meeting is about fear, and how perhaps, we can all benefit from changing our fear-based reactions to love-based compassionate acts.

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