I discovered more about myself yesterday, that by putting up walls with my parents to protect myself, I had also prevented any kind of love or affection to get through. As I replaced those walls with boundaries during the time they were here, I let some "good" through and was still able to keep out the "bad".
As in most things "Al-Anon", it had to do with my attitude and my choices. I have to say this worked really well for me, but only after once again suffering through the extreme emotions I didn't let myself feel as a child. Maybe, maybe, I've finally learned. Just for today, I can accept my imperfections in my progress on this road of recovery.