Married to a Functional Alcoholic? Are They Stable Because You Enable?
Posted May 10 2010 11:54am
Are you married to a functional alcoholic? My heart goes out to you. What a tough situation. Your alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife is able to stay in denial because they are somehow managing their work and home responsibilities despite their alcohol problem.
When you confront them about their excessive drinking, you hit a wall. Ask yourself if you are enabling the situation in any way such as:
Are you making excuses for them to their work, your family, or your friends?
Are you changing your behavior in any way to accommodate their drinking?
Have their issues become your issues?
Have you become isolated because of their drinking?
Have you ever threatened to leave, but not followed through?
Do not help or enable your alcoholic spouse be “functional” is my best advice. Let your alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife suffer the consequences from their drinking (miss a meeting at work, miss a family function etc.). Don’t “cover” for them anymore.
Your new motto, in your own mind, could be, “Don’t enable and keep them stable”. You don’t want them stable or everything stays the same.
The problem living with a functional alcoholic is there is no incentive to change. The functional alcoholic is essentially “getting away” with their addiction (By the way, that rarely lasts). As a psychiatrist, an alcoholic only gives up alcohol if the pain of continuing to drink outweighs the pain of stopping alcohol.
nfree report on, “The 5 Most Effective Ways To Turn Your Marriage Around To Your Alcoholic Spouse. It may save your family’s life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage).
Are you married to a functional alcoholic? My heart goes out to you. What a tough situation. Your alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife is able to stay in denial because they are somehow managing their work and home responsibilities despite their alcohol problem.
When you confront them about their excessive drinking, you hit a wall. Ask yourself if you are enabling the situation in any way such as:
Do not help or enable your alcoholic spouse be “functional” is my best advice. Let your alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife suffer the consequences from their drinking (miss a meeting at work, miss a family function etc.). Don’t “cover” for them anymore.
Your new motto, in your own mind, could be, “Don’t enable and keep them stable”. You don’t want them stable or everything stays the same.
The problem living with a functional alcoholic is there is no incentive to change. The functional alcoholic is essentially “getting away” with their addiction (By the way, that rarely lasts). As a psychiatrist, an alcoholic only gives up alcohol if the pain of continuing to drink outweighs the pain of stopping alcohol.
n free report on, “The 5 Most Effective Ways To Turn Your Marriage Around To Your Alcoholic Spouse. It may save your family’s life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage).