i want someone give me advices how to control my brain?

Oh gosh, Ednan... I'm sorry to hear your distress, but the fact that you are reaching out is HUGE! There are a number of things you can do to get help. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as taking two aspirin, getting some rest and visiting the doctor, again, in a week, nor can you "just stop," and that's because alcoholism (which I am not diagnosing in your case, by the way) is a brain disease.

Please understand that what I write next is not diagnostic of you or your specific situation -- it is a sharing of general research and information.

Alcoholism (along with illegal or prescription drug addictions) is a brain disease; a brain disease that can most definitely be treated, thereby allowing you to enjoy a happy, joy-filled life. But it's the fact that it is a brain disease that makes it impossible for you to control your thoughts, feelings, emotions, behaviors WHEN you are drinking -- the alcohol triggers addiction-related brain maps, which override rationale thought, "normal" behaviors, etc.

If you have a mental health illness (chronic depression, PTSD, ADHD), you have another brain disease, which needs to be treated accordingly. Additionally, having a mental illness (or the "disturbing past and weird memories" without sorting them out to see them for what they are, etc.) often causes a person to drink in order to "self-medicate" the mental illness or stop/minimize the disturbing thoughts. The drinking, in turn, doesn't work after a while and the two get mucked up, fueling each other.

This is not to sound overwhelming - rather an explanation.

Brain diseases are just diseases in that they are caused by changes to cells. But brain diseases are unlike other diseases in that they affect the brain which controls everything we think, feel, say and do.

Now... for your way out....

There are many, many options -- one is AA, a 12-step program for people who struggle with their alcohol use, others include: residential programs (where you go live at a treatment center and receive treatment), detox (the early stages where the alcohol is safely removed from your system under medical supervision), medications that can help reduce the cravings, therapy with an addictions specialist, intensive outpatient (IOP - where you live at home and visit a treatment center for treatment), a combination of any of these and more.... Just as with treating other diseases, what may work for one person may not necessarily work for another BUT healing and recovery and a joy-filled life are absolutely possible.

I suggest you visit the website, www.hbo.com/addiction, to get a better understanding of the disease of addiction, which can help you understand why you can't "just stop drinking." Then to find treatment, I suggest you visit www.choopersguide.com - the most comprehensive substance abuse treatment resource on the web, built by and for drug addicts and alcoholics.

Most importantly - please understand this is not a moral failing, nor a lack of willpower, nor something that you should "just get over." If it were cancer, for example, you could not just "will" the cancerous cells away or to stop their destruction. You'd have a number of treatment options and choose accordingly. Treating addiction is no different. Addiction is a brain disease that hijacks neural networks in your brain. It can be treated, but it can't be treated if alcohol is used as that is what triggers the addiction-related neural networks (brain maps). It can be treated, but it can't be treated if you also have a mental illness that is not also being treated (this is known as a dual diagnosis or co-occurring disorder). The two must be treated together in order for both to be treated successfully.

If you have any other questions as you start learning more, please feel free to ask me. And, again, the fact that you are reaching out is huge -- you are on your way!

I wish you all the best!!!