How Alcohol Ruined My Life: A Real LIfe Experience of Alcoholism
Posted Apr 02 2012 8:17pm
How Alcoholism Developed
I remember I was sixteen when I drank my first beer, it was after a big victory at a baseball game. I can remember wanting to spit it out, because I thought the taste was disgusting. In order to look cool, I kept drinking. To go back to that day, I would have turned down that drink. As time progressed I begin acquiring the taste for beer. I started developing cravings and look forward to Friday nights. If we won the game, we'd drink to celebrate. If we lost the game, we'd drink to forget. I was good at hiding my love for drinking for my family and loved ones. Although my mother was very concerned when she saw my grades slipping. She assumed it was from playing too much ball, never dared to tell her the truth. I can even remember driving home drunk after the games, thinking I was invincible, and walking into my house and stumbling up the stairs.
My drinking got worse after I cheated on my first girlfriend at a party. The day she found out about me cheating on her with a fellow classmate she came running up to me in the gym. Her bright blue eyes were filled with tears when she asked if the rumors were true and I laughed in her face. Instead of handling my emotions of the situation, I drank even more. I had alcohol hidden in my room, in my book bag, in my car, and many other hiding places. When we could not find someone to buy for us, we would go to our local convenience store and steal from the nice, older gentleman that ran it. Another guilt I concealed with increased drinking.
Alcohol Became a Crutch
Alcohol became a crutch I used as pressures starting building my senior year. I was fortunately awarded a scholarship to play ball at a prestigious university near my hometown and I accepted. I can remember one of my first thoughts about going off to school was that I could now drink on the weekdays. Drinking increased during college and so did my sex life. So many mornings I would wake up with some stranger beside me and not knowing anything that had happened. I had failed most of my classes, I lost my baseball scholarship, and contracted an std. I was ignoring calls from my family, ignoring calls from girls, and withdrawing from friends. I was only drinking in party settings, but I begin drinking alone. I blew all of my loan money by giving it to older classmates to buy alcohol. I quickly ran out of that money and was in need of more for alcohol, so I stole my roomate's school rings and other small stuff and walked down to a pawn shop to get extra cash. I never once thought it would be tracked back at the time, but sure enough I was booked on larceny. I can still remember the sadness in my mother's voice when I called to tell her what had happened and the long, quiet ride home.
The Turning Page
After the arrest is a blur in my memory, especially after I turned 21. I went from job to job. I kept losing them, because of my drinking. By 23, I was living in government housing with my pregnant girlfriend. My girlfriend was begging me to get help and my family even offered to pay, but I refused. I knew I had a problem, but alcohol had went from a crutch I was using to an actual leg. I was afraid of having a life apart from it, therefore I let it ruin the one I had with it. I was even intoxicated for the birth of my daughter. To this day, I cannot recall the experience. One day when I was holding my daughter, she glanced up and looked at me. I thought about her eyes watching me and the person I had became. I was so ashamed. My first reaction was to cover the pain with alcohol, but instead I looked at my girlfriend and told her I was ready to get help. I sought help at a rehab treatment center and have been looking forward ever since.
Alcohol robbed me of my peace, my happiness, my health, my youth, and my precious time. Worse of all, alcohol ruined the peace of my family and loved ones. Alcohol ruined my life, but ruined is past tense. Even though each day is a new struggle and there are still times I battle temptation, I have a new appreciation for each day and a beautiful family. If alcohol or any drug is robbing you of your life, get help. There is new hope pass addiction for everyone.
About the Author
The author of this blog is a gentleman who sought treatment at a rehab facility that I work with to educate people about substance abuse. This is just one of the many stories of those who have battle an addiction to alcohol and have found a way to break-free. I work with facilities that provide alcoholism help, as well as help for any substance abuse problem. My number one goal is to reach those in need and guide them to finding addiction recovery.