I have found that life is filled with hard decisions and hard choices. Many times these decisions and choices are what they are because it may be going completely against what we think we are supposed to do. I was confronted with this yesterday and I thank God that I have a family that is as honest with me as anybody else in this world.
I am moving from here and starting a new life but it is not where I thought it was going to be yesterday or the day before. I realized that the apprehension and fear that I had about taking the position that was offered to me was not because I would fail at the job but because I might fail with my sobriety. I had a job years ago that was very similar to what this job would be and at the time I was living in central California. I had a nice apartment, company car, great pay and I was alone. I would work all day and come home to an empty apartment with virtually no friends at all because I had never lived in the area. All I did those days was drink to not feel the loneliness.
I realized yesterday that if I took this job there was a very good chance that I would end up in the same place again. Any alcoholic knows that our sobriety is as strong as it was yesterday and tomorrow is never guaranteed. I know me and that means that if I am miserable I will very likely turn to the bottle once more for companionship because I don’t have the support system there that I have here. I can’t take that chance with my life right now. I need to stay sober in order to continue trying to get to where I want to be. Where I have decided to start my new life is I do have the support that I need in order to follow my dreams and continue with my recovery.
I have decided to take a chance on me. I am done chasing the paycheck because I now know that I need to make a living doing what I love. I love my sobriety and I know that where I’m going I can get a job doing what I love to do. I love this blog and what it stands for. I want to work with other addicts and alcoholics. I want to help others the same way the people in the past helped me. I want to talk about my experiences and how they have made me a stronger person. I want to offer that support to those that are at their rock bottom.
We sometimes have to take a good long look at ourselves and decide how much our happiness is worth. We have to decide if we are for sale or if we are worth taking that chance and decide what is truly best for us. Yes, we might have to pick up and move, but that move will be worth it if we are making it to improve our lives and to be truly happy with what we are doing. We will sacrifice certain things along the way, but the happiness at the end of the road is priceless.
I am moving from here and starting a new life but it is not where I thought it was going to be yesterday or the day before. I realized that the apprehension and fear that I had about taking the position that was offered to me was not because I would fail at the job but because I might fail with my sobriety. I had a job years ago that was very similar to what this job would be and at the time I was living in central California. I had a nice apartment, company car, great pay and I was alone. I would work all day and come home to an empty apartment with virtually no friends at all because I had never lived in the area. All I did those days was drink to not feel the loneliness.
I realized yesterday that if I took this job there was a very good chance that I would end up in the same place again. Any alcoholic knows that our sobriety is as strong as it was yesterday and tomorrow is never guaranteed. I know me and that means that if I am miserable I will very likely turn to the bottle once more for companionship because I don’t have the support system there that I have here. I can’t take that chance with my life right now. I need to stay sober in order to continue trying to get to where I want to be. Where I have decided to start my new life is I do have the support that I need in order to follow my dreams and continue with my recovery.
I have decided to take a chance on me. I am done chasing the paycheck because I now know that I need to make a living doing what I love. I love my sobriety and I know that where I’m going I can get a job doing what I love to do. I love this blog and what it stands for. I want to work with other addicts and alcoholics. I want to help others the same way the people in the past helped me. I want to talk about my experiences and how they have made me a stronger person. I want to offer that support to those that are at their rock bottom.
We sometimes have to take a good long look at ourselves and decide how much our happiness is worth. We have to decide if we are for sale or if we are worth taking that chance and decide what is truly best for us. Yes, we might have to pick up and move, but that move will be worth it if we are making it to improve our lives and to be truly happy with what we are doing. We will sacrifice certain things along the way, but the happiness at the end of the road is priceless.
Don’t forget, you’re not alone!
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