There are a lot of us that feel guilty about what we have done. Guilt is an awful feeling. It is like a dark cloud hovering over us.
I used to feel guilty about something I did or said, sometimes two or three days after. With recovery, my feeling of guilt may last into the next day. As I go further into recovery I learn not to say the things that might make me feel guilty . . . with the help of the slogans like; "how important is this," or "easy does it," or "one day at a time," I can stop and think and probably best of all, say or do nothing.
I have found - through my thinking on the subject - that guilt is very much like harboring a resentment against some one else - except that guilt is a resentment turned inward toward yourself. What a terrible feeling this thing guilt is.
I read somewhere, we should not feel guilty about anything. You might ask, "Anything?!" And so we begin to feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
So what if we can eliminate guilt? Start off by not doing anything that will make you feel guilty. HA! Like that is so easy - right?
Okay. So we do something stupid . . . realize we are human. We are perfect (I believe this to be true) but what we do, (do is the operative word), is not so perfect. Because . . . we are human!
Give yourself a break. If you feel you want to say or do something out of a reaction, do these things first;
1. Call your sponsor and talk it through with him or her. What a fabulous idea. Could it be so simple? Absolutely!
2. Sleep on it. We've all heard this one. But very few of us (me) do this.
3. Journal about it. Think on paper. Reread what you are writing. It will tell you a lot
4. Write a letter to the person. Don't mail it. Just hang onto it until the next day.
But . . .
If you do something stupid . . . call your sponsor. Talk it through with him or her. Determine if you owe apologies or if an apology will just make it worse. It's hard to believe that an apology could make things worse. But I have found that others may not be sophisticated enough to accept an apology and instead use it a means to extract guilt and feel righteous.
If you do something stupid, let it simmer and then sooner rather than later, let it go. You are HUMAN!
There are a lot of us that feel guilty about what we have done. Guilt is an awful feeling. It is like a dark cloud hovering over us.
I used to feel guilty about something I did or said, sometimes two or three days after. With recovery, my feeling of guilt may last into the next day. As I go further into recovery I learn not to say the things that might make me feel guilty . . . with the help of the slogans like; "how important is this," or "easy does it," or "one day at a time," I can stop and think and probably best of all, say or do nothing.
I have found - through my thinking on the subject - that guilt is very much like harboring a resentment against some one else - except that guilt is a resentment turned inward toward yourself. What a terrible feeling this thing guilt is.
I read somewhere, we should not feel guilty about anything. You might ask, "Anything?!" And so we begin to feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
So what if we can eliminate guilt? Start off by not doing anything that will make you feel guilty. HA! Like that is so easy - right?
Okay. So we do something stupid . . . realize we are human. We are perfect (I believe this to be true) but what we do, (do is the operative word), is not so perfect. Because . . . we are human!
Give yourself a break. If you feel you want to say or do something out of a reaction, do these things first;
1. Call your sponsor and talk it through with him or her. What a fabulous idea. Could it be so simple? Absolutely!
2. Sleep on it. We've all heard this one. But very few of us (me) do this.
3. Journal about it. Think on paper. Reread what you are writing. It will tell you a lot
4. Write a letter to the person. Don't mail it. Just hang onto it until the next day.
But . . .
If you do something stupid . . . call your sponsor. Talk it through with him or her. Determine if you owe apologies or if an apology will just make it worse. It's hard to believe that an apology could make things worse. But I have found that others may not be sophisticated enough to accept an apology and instead use it a means to extract guilt and feel righteous.
If you do something stupid, let it simmer and then sooner rather than later, let it go. You are HUMAN!