Okay, so I've been in a funk for a while now. A major contributor to my sickness (whether we're talking about alcoholism or depression), though, is focusing solely on the negative—whether it's what's negative about me, my life, other people, the world—whatever.
Even though it may seem like I have nothing to be grateful for right now, I know rationally and intellectually that that's a lie. So, with gritted teeth, I will make an effort to do the one thing that has been successful in the past, when I've been feelin' funky.
Without further ado, I present:
A List of (Grudging) Gratitude:
Boots, when he's not demon-possessed (and sometimes when he is!)
R, when I'm not mad at him, because deep down, I DO love him, or I wouldn't still be here
The weather being cool and dry enough for me to have gone for a run today
The way running (okay, jogging) calms my mind
2 ski trips in my very near future!
The church we've found, and the real friends I'm making there
The way God is making me aware of the fact that I've turned my back on him for years, not the other way around, and that it's not an irreversible action
I've been able to lose 7 pounds in the past 4 weeks, via not drinking alcohol and the South Beach Diet
My HP is not a God of confusion, and I can seek his wisdom and direction through prayer, and he promises to give me a sound mind
My blogging peeps (special hugs to Kenny ), even the ones who piss me off when they say stuff I don't want to hear, 'cuz I know they are just telling me what I NEED to hear (or at least what they think I need to hear)
Don't know whether it's endorphins or the list, but that feels sooooo much better!