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feeling "a part of "

Posted Oct 05 2009 10:03pm
This summer semester marks the half-way point for my program at school. Most of the campus is fairly empty over the summer and for some reason, the empty campus brings out my reflective side. Another classmate and I were remembering a year ago when we first arrived, so excited and scared, not knowing anyone. I spent the first few weeks of June last summer almost in tears everyday during lunch because I was so lonely and homesick and was convinced none of the other students liked me. Of course, the truth was that none of the other student knew me.

One of my old ideas that had to go was that either we were instant best friends or else you hated me. I would call some of my friends, sponsor, other mentors in the program during lunch and cry. Finally, I heard what everyone was saying, which is that relationships take time and effort to develop. I remember finally walking up to 2 girls in my program and asking if I could join them for lunch- I thought I was going to die of humiliation, but instead they were quite friendly and said sure. One of those gals is now my bestest pal in the program. Today she and I joined up with another 5 people in my small discussion class during break and had such a fun time. That may not seem like a big deal to most people, but it was kind of a big realization for me to see just how much things have changed in the past year. Not only was it a nice time in a big groups of students, but I wasn't completely self-obsessed or self-conscious (which are really the same thing). Now, that is definitely a miracle!
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