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Cunning and All Powerful

Posted Jan 06 2013 4:36am
Within the last couple weeks my attitude about alcohol has changed from almost neutral to nearly obsessive.  In early December we celebrated Eucharist at someones home after a day of spiritual retreat.  We had hunks of bread and when the cup came around I took a swallow thinking it would be juice.  It was wine.

At the end of my drinking I was being triggered by that and since then I typically dip my wafer into the chalice rather than taking a swallow and that has been working fine.  Since my 'accident' last month I've been emboldened to resume taking swallows.

This morning I added wine to my shopping list. I will be making sauce and really like it as an ingredient.  I buy the little four pack at the grocery store, use half of one for the tomato sauce and pour the other half out.  I took my inventory about having the remaining mini bottles in the cupboard and decided it wasn't a temptation.

This afternoon I noticed chocolate wrappers that the dog had made a mess of  in my sons room.  I scooped them up and came eye to eye with a large bottle of vodka, a third full.  He will be 21 next month and has been gone a few days for work.

I feel the lions circling.

They will NOT get me.

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