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Charlie, Charlie, Charlie

Posted Mar 09 2011 12:00am

Click on the photo and it takes you to the one and only AC360, it’s an interview with Anderson Cooper and Dr. Drew Pinksky about the video of Charlie Sheen that surfaced last night.

I keep coming up with things to say but they all seem too sarcastic for this blog post.  I have to admitt I’ve been just where Charlie Sheen is and just as ugly as it is on him, it was on me.  I’ve decided I’m not going to use words like hypomania or psychotic episode in this blog post because those words no longer matter in this topic.  There’s no links describing anything; just honest, raw emotions. 

Charlie Sheen is currently living in hell and I should be ashamed of myself for watching (no matter how close my bottom lip is to the floor, very huge gasp as I watched this video) and doing nothing.  I know where he is; I’ve felt it, lived with it, looked into the eye of the grim reaper, and thankfully survived.  Now whether or not I still have my soul is a whole other topic, some would say no.

Truth is I can’t help him, I don’t have the money or clout to be in his life, hell to be five feet from him and that’s fine for me but I feel horrible as I watch, shocked and dismayed, no one helping him just nodding and agreeing with him because well he’s Charlie Sheen. I feel completely helpless to watch him on the computer screen or tv and KNOW what it is he’s going through and even worst knowing how to help him but I can’t. I fear for his life just as I fear for mine if my up appears to last way too long.  And I’ve turned this into all about me, I sware my alcoholism has made me the most selfish woman around but it’s not because (atleast not in this case) I want it to be about me, this time I just can’t do anything other than watch this train wreck.  Do I continue watching it?  Hell yes.  Do I joke about it?  Not by myself.  No, not when I sit or pace by myself knowing what it is that is hurting and ruining him.  I secretly cry for him, plain and simple…I KNOW.

It has taken me all day just to come up with this small amount of bulshit,  I’ve cried watching this video.  Why?  It’s painful to watch and it’s painful to think this all could be stopped if someone, anyone just stepped in.  He no longer controls his thoughts, his soul, his sleeping, his eating, drinking, bathing.  Charlie Sheen no longer controls his own life.  He’s turned into a slave to his addictions and mental illnesses; a slave to his thoughts.  He believes he’s superman and he’s “WINNING” but sadly, he’s winning as much as the spider I slapped with my shoe an hour ago.  His brain has a switch in it, this switch has been turned on and it’s no longer up to him to turn it off because he lost the ability to turn it off, he’s lost the ability to live, to think, to act, to love, and to understand that what is going on is not alright.  He’s going to need someone to interfer and get him the help to turn it off. 

Is Charlie Sheen bipolar, schizophrenic, crazy, insane, psychopathic, violent, an asshole?  At this point I don’t care.  At this point I fear for his life and if his life ended like this, it would be a shame because Charlie Sheen is one of the best at what he does, he’s intelligent, at one point in time in my life I had posters of this guy on my wall.  If I could’ve stepped in a room full of people and him, I am positive I would’ve started sweating and had an orgasmic episode.  But now look at this hard while you watch the video, listen to his thoughts, realize that is not him.  He’s no longer Charlie Sheen.

Dearest Charlie Sheen,

I know, I know how it is. I’m sorry, I am so sorry that it hurts like this. Many of us care and are hoping you can stay strong and live through this.  We see you, we hear you, and we care about you.  We worry for you, we want peace for your thoughts, your head, your heart and soul.


I can only hope that this isn’t the end of such a wonderful person.

Really quick… I have to thank the ever suave  Anderson Cooper of CNN’s AC360 for taking a break from Gadhafi and his murderous rants to touch on this subject.  I also thank; of course,  Dr. Drew Pinsky for his honesty, feelings and help with this subject.

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