I was reading in Romans 4, for part of the Blogger Small Group, when I came across this little gem of phrase:
Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed… Romans 4:18
This is exactly what I was referring to inMonday’s postwhen I said that I have to believe that He will show up in the situations with Fourthborn. Even though at the time, all forms of human effort were failing me, I had to hope… I hoped against all of those things, that a Divine help would come. Then yesterday came, and my hope dimmed a bit when our daycare provider called (I believe I will just call her Nanny, she is a HUGE part of Fourthborn’s life). Nanny was concerned about Fourthborn’s reaction to the rain (buckets and buckets of rain, matched only by buckets and buckets of irrational fearful tears).
Against all hope, Jen in hope believed, but I am not going to say it was easy. Later in the same chapter of Romans it says that Abraham was “fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised.” At that point, sitting at my desk with no answers or tips to offer Nanny on how to help her through the fit, I cannot say that I was fully persuaded. No, that’s not exactly right… I am always fully persuaded that God indeed has the power to do what He promises, it’s the whole timing issue that always trips me up. When? When will He do what He promised?
That’s a horrible place to be, crammed uncomfortably in the crevice between your faith and what you see. I read something today about how airplane pilots have to ignore what every sense they have is telling them and fly by what the instruments are saying if they are in the middle of a low-visibility situation. Their senses will tell them they are flying in a straight line even if they are going in a complete circle…so they must trust their instruments to guarantee their course stays straight. Sitting at my desk, I experienced that conflict in the worst way. My instruments were hoping against all hope, trusting that He has the power. My senses, however, were just overwhelmed with …everything.
Nanny is brilliant. In what I believe was a Holy Spirit inspired act of desperation, she took Fourthborn and her other charges outside to dance in the rain. She turned Fourthborn’s fear into her dance of praise. No kidding, they were out there having a toddler version of Praise and Worship (old fashioned, camp-meeting style). After lessons upon lessons of why we need the rain for the flowers to grow, Fourthborn decided to tell me that the rain is also going to make her hair grow. Cute, huh? And not only that, when the thunder came later, Nanny sacrificed all hope of getting through the day without a headache and gave those kids POTS AND PANS TO BEAT ON TO MAKE THEIR OWN THUNDER. She even flashed the lights on and off to make lightening.
This. Is. Why. I. Love. Her.
By the time I got home and talked to Fourthborn, she was all about “watering her head” outside in the rain, but she was still apprehensive about the thought of thunder. I’m not too worried because we have a drum here in the house that is just dying to “make thunder” with her the next time it comes.
So sometimes, God’s power doesn’t necessarily rush in like a mighty wave. Sometimes it creeps in and covers you like a blanket tucked over you when you sleep. Sometimes it falls gently like summer rain and you have to run around in it and rub it into your head to help you grow. Don’t box Him in, thinking He has to show up this way or that way or at this point…because He will show up His way and in His time, and it may be through a Nanny, or a dance, or a wooden spoon and a brownie pan. You just never know. Abraham had no clue, either. But he hoped and was fully, completely, totally persuaded.