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Andrew’s Story – Was it Just Heavy Drinking or Passive Suicide? (Part II)

Posted Nov 13 2009 10:02pm

Andrew was an active youth and exercised hard until his mid twenties. He comfortably weighed a very fit 180 pounds for much of his adult life until he started his own business. Longer hours and stress filled days consumed him and he barely had time to sleep let alone exercise anymore. So when Andrew started drinking to quell the stressful days he also started on a road to poor health that was coming back to harass him now.

Andrew’s weight had dropped dramatically in the last 6 months of his drinking going from about 180lbs down to 134 when he stopped. Now as he was beginning his recovery he couldn’t seem to add any weight. He had absolutely no taste for food and he needed to force himself to eat just to maintain his current pathetic emaciated self. He joked that he finally had a six pack he hadn’t drank but it was getting serious.

His physician continued to monitor his progress taking more blood samples more often. Andrew was told his liver function was not improving and that if there wasn’t an improvement soon they would have to take a biopsy to investigate further. Andrew was disturbed that they may eventually need to go in and have a look around inside him if the biopsy proved inconclusive. Upon hearing this from the doctor he went home and began to prepare mentally for the worst.

It was now almost 6 months since Andrew last had a sip of alcohol and yet he was no closer to recovering his physical health than he was the day he stopped drinking. His A.A. sponsor tried to encourage him as did some of the old timers in his group who had seen it all. They told him to tow the line and not to let potential health issues ruin his progress. Why did he still feel so lousy and when would he be able to smile and laugh again?

Andrew was always a spiritual guy and was even an altar boy when he was a kid. He had fallen away from his faith for some time much to the chagrin of his church going wife. He still prayed and believed but obviously Andrew had to question why God would let such havoc rule his life. He looked like hell and felt even worse, the impending medical procedures he could be facing, not to mention the periodic compulsion to drink were all starting to take a toll on his already beleaguered soul.

That night when Andrew lay in bed with his active mind racing, his insomnia racking him and his uncontrollable twitching legs playing their nightly tricks, he felt near his wits end. Andrew thought that when he quit drinking he would be rewarded with better health and he could start on the road to a healthy booze free existence. He really believed he had hit rock bottom months previously when he suffered through the trauma of detoxification. Now lying in bed with tears welling up and his chest heavy with fear he began praying.

Andrew asked for God’s help like never before. He knew he was not capable of fighting any longer and needed more help than he could possibly get from the medical community. He needed divine intervention to help him proceed further in his recovery and was now asking his higher power for that hand up, for the help he would really need to carry on to full recovery. Andrew prayed with more sincerity and truth than he ever had before because he now realized he had reached another bottom he didn’t believe existed. He fell asleep asking for God’s help.

Suddenly Andrew woke up with a start opening his eyes in the dark room. He felt a strange feeling of peace come over him and believe it or not, just like in the cartoons he literally felt his tormented soul leave his body upward like a ghost or spirit exiting him! Andrew was filled with goose bumps as this wave of peace and contentment rushed over him replacing the tired and sick feeling he carried with him for months. He jumped out of bed and went to the kitchen and started eating whatever he could get his hands on.

He made himself three salami and cheese sandwiches and ate them all with a huge glass of milk as well as wolfing down several handfuls of cookies! It tasted so wonderful and he had never been so hungry. His appetite had obviously returned and he would slowly begin to get his strength back in the weeks ahead but first more blood work. A week later he was back in the Doctor’s office for the results.

The doctor seemed pleased with the latest results and was cautiously optimistic that things were turning around. Not Andrew, he was convinced he was going to be fine. He had stopped drinking, was getting emotional support from his meetings. He was getting stronger and had never eaten so much in his life. He was also developing a new relationship with his higher power for continued spiritual healing. For the first time in years Andrew was starting to feel like an adult emotionally.

See, the alcohol not only robbed him of his health but seemed to put him in a time lock, that of a spoiled young man who acted and did whatever he wanted to do and consequences be damned. Andrew was now learning to live all over again free off alcohol, using new life skills to deal with emotional triggers and stressors that used to send him running for a drink.

His physical, emotional and spiritual well being on the rise, Andrew was now finally enjoying the life of a recovering alcoholic. Looking back he only wishes he had acted sooner to get help and put his foolish pride and stubbornness aside.

He was told he only would have had six to eight weeks to live when he finally stopped drinking. Passive suicide? Yes probably and Andrew is now dedicated to helping others who may not have the same support system that intervened on Andrew’s behalf to save his life.

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