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Alcoholic Spouse: Does Your Alcoholic Spouse Love Alcohol More Than You?

Posted Jan 26 2010 5:49pm

If you are married to an alcoholic spouse, you probably feel you come in second to alcohol. Guess what? You do!

No matter how much your alcoholic spouse (alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife) says “I love you”, it is clear from his/her actions that the need or desire to drink alcohol takes precedence over any of your needs.

Here are the 3 most common feelings that spouse’s of alcoholics experience (that I have observed in my psychiatric practice):

  • Feeling that their spouse’s alcohol problem is in some way their fault.
  • Feeling devalued that they are not important enough or lovable enough to be adequate motivation for their spouse to quit drinking alcohol.
  • Feeling powerless over their spouse’s alcohol problem.

Your spouse is suffering from alcoholism which is a chronic and progressive disease. Your spouse’s brain craves alcohol and this alcohol craving is at the core of a lot of his/her alcoholic behavior.

You did not cause his/her alcohol problem. You cannot fix his/her alcohol problem.

However, many spouses of alcoholics enable alcoholic behavior by sacrificing their own needs for the needs of their partner. In other words, they do not how how to set appropriate boundaries. When enabling behavior ceases, many times alcoholic recovery follows.

For additional help with an alcoholic spouse, please click here to get my free special report on the 5 Most Effective Ways to Turn Your Marriage Around to An Alcoholic Spouse. It may save your family’s life.


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