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Alcoholic Spouse? 7 Examples of Controlling Behavior You Put Up With From Your Alcoholic Spouse

Posted Jan 24 2010 12:41pm

Is your alcoholic spouse (alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife) controlling you instead of controlling his/her excessive drinking?

One of the most common characteristics of an alcoholic is the need to control. Any one living with an alcoholic spouse is well aware of this. A controlling spouse usually finds a kind and compassionate partner that is easy to dominate.

Here are 7 examples of an alcoholic spouse’s controlling behavior:

  • Your alcoholic spouse feels threatened by your close relationships with your family and friends and tries to control the time you spend with them.
  • Your spouse demands to be the center of your life (he demands his needs be met before everyone else’s in the family). Your needs don’t count in this unhealthy relationship.
  • Your controlling spouse wants to monitor your phone calls, emails, and how you spend your time when you are not together. An alcoholic husband may even be controlling over how you spend  money.
  • He/she wants to be the one in charge of all the decisions.
  • He/she is a perfectionistic about everything you do for him in “his world” whether it is housework, cooking, parenting, home projects etc.
  • Your alcoholic spouse is demanding and wants everything done his/her way- no compromising.
  • The alcoholic spouse is inconsistent with affection or kindness. You never know which side of him/her to expect.

Living with an alcoholic spouse is tough. The marriage has become an unhealthy relationship, maybe even an abusive relationship. Take a step back and evaluate your own behavior, Ask yourself, what are you doing that is allowing or enabling this controlling behavior to continue? You feel powerless and this has to change. The first step is learning to set appropriate boundaries. Consider attending an Al-anon meeting. Therapy may help as well.

For additional help with an alcoholic spouse, please click here to get my free special report on the 5 Most Effective Ways to Turn Your Marriage Around to An Alcoholic Spouse. It may save your family’s life.

Stay tuned for future posts on dealing with this type of alcoholic behavior and more.

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