Your alcoholic husband could NOT keep drinking without your help. Maybe you have even become the breadwinner of the family because he keeps losing jobs due to his alcohol dependence. You do everything for the kids, all the chores, and keep the house going.
Conversely, an alcoholic wife cannot drink without your help; both financial support and delegating responsibilities. If you have an alcoholic wife, you are probably working full time AND taking over more and more of the childcare or delegating it to your older children.
Here are 3 tips to quit rescuing your alcoholic spouse:
1. Do not take over their responsibilities. Let things fall apart. Let the house get a disarray, the kids be late for school, your spouse be late for a job.
2. Do not lie or cover up for your alcoholic spouse. Do not cover for alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife when they do not show up for a family dinner, a school function, or even to work. You are not fooling their boss to call in and say your spouse has a stomach virus (every one knows this is a lie for a hang-over).
3. Let your children see the truth about their alcoholic parent and make sure your children know it is not their fault. Let your children be angry and express their feelings about living with an alcoholic parent (take your children to a therapist). They have a lot of disappointment, shame, and anger that needs to come up and be dealt with.
Sometimes the biggest fear of someone living with an alcoholic spouse is to quit being “superwoman” or “superman” because your life will fall apart without your incredible efforts. The irony is that this only perpetuates addiction -it fosters alcoholism. The sooner your alcoholic spouse faces the ugly consequences of their alcoholism, the sooner the motivation kicks in to get help. It takes BIG consequences to get an addicts attention and break through denial.
You will be ok- your fear is that you will not. That is what Al-Anon and therapy can help with. Don’t let your fear hold you hostage. Things can be MUCH better and happier for you and your children. Take that first step and quit rescuing.
If you want additional help turning your marriage around click here to register for my free report on, “ 5 Proven Methods For a Healthier Marriage With Your Alcoholic Spouse”. It may save your family’s life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage.