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Alcoholic Husband: 5 Tips To Stop His Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Posted Apr 20 2010 3:01pm

An alcoholic husband is often verbally and emotionally abusive to his wife. Some alcoholic spouses are even physically abusive.

In my psychiatric practice where I treat many wives with alcoholic spouses, I often will hear that their husband’s personality changes with alcohol. I will hear, “He is like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He puts me down. He says I have lost all my looks and I’m not sexy anymore or that the house looks like a pig stye. Then he claims if it weren’t for my nagging, he wouldn’t have to drink so much. He will say anything mean he can think of”.

What can you do to stop the  emotional/verbal abuse of a controlling spouse? Here are 5 tips to stop your husband’s “alcoholic abuse” of you:

  • Stop making excuses for his verbal/emotional abuse like “he isn’t like this when he hasn’t been drinking. Every time you let him put you down and say these type of “nasty” remarks to you, it is actually hurting your self- worth.
  • Set a verbal boundary that he cannot talk to you in that tone and be disrespectful to you.
  • If he doesn’t honor this, leave the room or even the house and go to a friend or relative’s house or even an Al-anon meeting. Take the kids too. It is not good for them to witness this type of “alcoholic behavior”.
  • Don’t let him blame his alcoholic behavior on you. If he tries to tell you his problems are all your fault, don’t take that on.
  • Go to Al-anon meetings to get support from other women with alcoholic spouses who have gone through similar experiences.
  • If he is physically abusive, call the police and get yourself and your children in a safe place. Go to a women’s shelter if you have to. Your safety and your children’s safety come first.

Your alcoholic husband is suffering from a terrible disease, alcoholism, and needs help.

However, women who put up with verbal/emotional abuse from their alcoholic spouses lose their self esteem. If an alcoholic husband is ever physically abusive, his wife may even be risking losing her life.

If either of these scenarios apply to you, consider therapy and /or Al-anon to face your own codependency issues.

If you want additional help turning your marriage around  click here to register for my free report on, “The 5 Most Effective Ways To Turn Your Marriage Around To Your Alcoholic Spouse. It may save your family’s life. The information in this report gives you very simple strategies that could very well save your marriage.

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