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Alcoholic Boyfriend: Need Advice?

Posted Jan 18 2010 6:06pm

Do you have an alcoholic boyfriend? If so, here is my advice. Sit down for this one. Run! (figuratively speaking, of course) Get out of this unhealthy relationship while you can. Sound overly harsh?

(If you or someone you know have a parent or spouse with a drug or alcohol problem, please click here to get my free special report which reveals, “The 5 Power Tactics for Spouse’s of Alcoholics to Turn Their Marriage Around”. It’s a must read if you want to save the family’s life!).

Why I would make such a strong statement when I know you really love him and may even feel crazy about him.? I do not say this lightly at all. Read on…

I am worried about the alcoholic behavior you are likely dealing with. Have any of the following situations come up for you with your alcoholic boyfriend?

  • Has your alcoholic boyfriend disappeared on occasion and given you a “shady” excuse (I lost my cell phone, the battery was dead, my car broke down, I took a nap and slept through your call)?.
  • Has he left a family function or a dinner with friends and either didn’t come back for hours or not at all ( to sneak out to drink alcohol)?
  • If you are living with him, has he come home plastered and reeking of alcohol in the middle of the night (where was he- who the heck knows?).
  • Has your alcoholic boyfriend gotten drunk in front of your friends and embarrassed you saying inappropriate things?
  • Has he promised to quit drinking alcohol, but is drinking excessively anyway?

Do any of these situations sound familiar to you?

If you go on to marry an alcoholic husband, you are in for a long “sentence” of this type of alcoholic behavior. If you have children with an alcoholic, it is a lot more complicated to leave the relationship. Your children will grow up with all the problems of coming from an alcoholic family (and inherit these genetics).

You boyfriend has a medical disease: alcoholism. He is more interested in alcohol than he is in you or the relationship. If you stay in the relationship, you are likely to slip into a role of “enabling” him.

He can’t meet your needs while his brain is battling his cravings for alcohol.
Ending the relationship is a strong message to him that his drinking is interfering with his life. Tell him if he gets a year of sobriety under his belt, he can call you.

If you don’t want to leave this unhealthy relationship and these type of incidences with your alcoholic boyfriend continue to occur (they will), go to alanon meetings. Your friends and family will be tired of hearing the same “old story”. You may also consider going to therapy to work on your own self esteem issues.

You deserve someone who is thinking about you and you thoughts and feelings, not getting the next drink. For a future relationship, find someone without an alcohol problem (or at the very least someone committed to his alcohol recovery).
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