Health knowledge made personal
Dear Valerie
Yes, it sounds like you are having a terrible and lonely time.
I'm sorry I don't feel equipped to give you the advice that you need, but I will pray for you. Hang in there, you are not alone. Perhaps sharing some of my experience can help just a little.
I grew up with a father with untreated mental illness which means that he was emotionally unavailbale to me. Even now he is unable to tell me or my siblings that he loves us and is mostly verbally abusive. We are still in contact, but I no longer seek to get his approval as I used to for my emotional wellbeing. That doesn't mean that I have come out unscathed, but I was lucky to have a more emotionally present mother, specially now as we have all learned some more coping strategies and have supported each other. Through most of my life, however I have felt overwhelming grief. I realise now why; I was mourning my 'absent' father. I have attracted an emotionally distant partner now, so I am attempting to deal with that. However, I am determined to live live fully and pray that I can become more self aware and deal with that knowledge to take care of myself better. Ultimatley we have to nurture the little child within ourselves, specially when raised by emotionally distant parents.
I hope that you find the support that you so desperately seek. It seems obvious from what you say that your mother is incapable of giving you that, so perhaps you need to stop expecting it or it will continue to cause more heartache for you.
All the best Valerie. I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you. You are not alone.
Isabel,
Lara, Australia
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Posted by shewhosuffersalone
I need help,help,help.
I have an emotionally distant mother. She has all the feeling of a tomato! She has been this way all of her life since I was 2.
She is now 68. She has mental health issues problem is so do I!!!!
I just can't stand her. She always must make herself the center of attention. I can't have a conversation with her because no matter what it is she always turns the topic back to her stuff! It always has to be about her and she has always been like this it has nothing to do with her growing old like she seems to think it is.
I do my best to reach out to her but it just does no kind of good.
She does nothing but watch tv in fact she is more intimate with the characters on NCIS,CSI Miami, and other shows than she is with me.
I encourage her to get excercise at the pool. All she has are excuses. She calls and leaves me this messege about her extreme pain with her Arthritus in her hands when there is nothing I can do about it.
She always wants to feel sorry for herself. She makes it difficult for me to be her daughter and I just can't stand her.
My mother will not make effort or be proactive in keeping herself well.
I just can't stand her. She hasn't even bothered calling me to see if I'm okay. I suffer from mental illness myself and believe me when I tell you its hard as hell!!!!!!!!!!
I live in Seattle.
Can you give me some referrals for support I can check out.
I've already tried the NAMI organization. I've emailed that organization and called them but I haven't heard back.
Can you give me some solid leads because I'm just having the most difficult, hard time and I have no other family or friends to go to for support.
Please, Please keep me in your prayers.
My name is Valerie Pendelton and I live in Seattle Washington.
Thank you and please pray for me.