I have been a veritable mixed bag of emotions this week. After the news of the cancelled IVF, I started diving into some deep despair. As someone who has struggled with depression for many years, I now the warning signs and decide whether or not I want to avoid going down that road. I decided that the only way I was going to make it the next couple of weeks is to distract my mind as much as possible. So I am trying to stay busy in the hopes that my mind will start to forget what "should be" and start focusing on "what is."
I have 17 days before the start of my next period, give or take. I have 17 days to figure out how I am going to do things and handle things differently next IVF cycle. I have 17 days to find my "happy place" again.
I'm trying not to think about IT at all. Trying to stay focused and remember what life was life before babymaking. Before IT consumed every waking moment of my life.
And so, I'm stepping away from the keyboard for a few weeks...in the hopes that I take my mind off of IT for a little while and come back with a fresh, renewed hope and mentality. I'm trying not to blog post for these two weeks in order to figure out how I feel about things.
I'll be back at the end of March to tell you about how my journey of self discovery has gone, which consequently, is also the same week in which I am able to begin a fresh start with a new cycle. :)
I have been a veritable mixed bag of emotions this week. After the news of the cancelled IVF, I started diving into some deep despair. As someone who has struggled with depression for many years, I now the warning signs and decide whether or not I want to avoid going down that road. I decided that the only way I was going to make it the next couple of weeks is to distract my mind as much as possible. So I am trying to stay busy in the hopes that my mind will start to forget what "should be" and start focusing on "what is."
I have 17 days before the start of my next period, give or take. I have 17 days to figure out how I am going to do things and handle things differently next IVF cycle. I have 17 days to find my "happy place" again.
I'm trying not to think about IT at all. Trying to stay focused and remember what life was life before babymaking. Before IT consumed every waking moment of my life.
And so, I'm stepping away from the keyboard for a few weeks...in the hopes that I take my mind off of IT for a little while and come back with a fresh, renewed hope and mentality. I'm trying not to blog post for these two weeks in order to figure out how I feel about things.
I'll be back at the end of March to tell you about how my journey of self discovery has gone, which consequently, is also the same week in which I am able to begin a fresh start with a new cycle. :)
Love,
B
A.K.A "The Angry Infertile"