As I was coming home from my home visit today I found myself quite nervous again. I had that impending feeling that something bad was going to happen. I hate it. I hate feeling like things are going to come tumbling down at any minute.
I wish I had Paula's personality where she is not fazed at all by the conflicts she has with her children as the catch phrase for her personality is “So sorry you have to DIE!”
This teenage girl stuff is really something. These girls are SO angry right now. They are angry at John and they are angry at their birth parents, but they are NOT taking it out on them because they are not here. They are taking it out on me. And it is NOT pretty.
So I come home waiting for the stress to come and it certainly does. Turns out that the girls have been spending time talking to a kid who is either 16 or 18 and when I suggested that might not be the best plan, boy did I get it. I was proud of how well I managed the whole thing.
And then I called Mike for the first time in months it was a good conversation. He was very polite and respectful and seemed genuinely glad to talk to me. I kept it real low key and told him very little about how things were here. I told him it had been a bad night and that I really didn’t want to talk about negative stuff from here.
He is frustrated that he doesn’t know where he is headed from there, and that nobody will tell him and I explained that they couldn’t tell him because they didn’t know.
He asked if we might be able to come visit him, and I told him I didn’t know. I said, “I just got permission to call you today, so I’m not sure that visits are going to be happening any time soon.”
But that conversation is over. We can call him 2 times a week. Now I just need to get court over with and maybe things will settle down.