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Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye 2009

Posted Dec 27 2009 12:00am
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I started off writing a year end recap post and then published. Afterwards I went back and reread and decided, nope, fuck it - delete. Anything you want to know about 2009 can be found in the archives. As far as a recap post, I don't care to give 2009 the satisfaction of any more attention. I'm hoping to leave it in the dust and move forward without another thought.

2010 is going to hold some challenges for DH and I, that is for sure. I already know of a few things coming around the bend that is sure to be difficult. My parents are on the way towards divorce. My sister in law is giving birth soon to our new nephew, the third grandbaby on DH's side. Lots of babies to be born soon. Lots of shower invites and announcements in the mail. I'm sure I won't make it out of 2010 without some additional preggo announcements from additional family members. But, I can't think that AFTER ALL WE'VE GONE THROUGH that it can't possibly be as hard as what we have already faced thus far.

DH and I have been talking a lot about what route we want to take with this new information about the MTHFR. I think after we talk to the new doctor we will get all the information we need on whether or not to proceed with adoption or put it on hold until we try the MTHFR protocols. I want to hear from the doctor what the pros and cons of medicating. What are our chances of success? I want to see whether or not it's in our best interest to drop more money on IF when we could be using that money for adoption. I am not for sure, since DH just switched our insurance, that our insurance will cover any of IF or MTHFR medications. I have to do some research.

Or, maybe we can do both at the same time? MTHFR/IF medication while doing adoption? Then what happens if we do get pregnant? I don't know.

I mean I seriously dropped all dreams of ever becomming pregnant and we had moved on. Now that door's open again. That hope is starting to inch its way back. I'm reading online about how others have had success with Lovenox protocols and it's making me hopeful. That hope is a scary thing. It's no longer important for us to get pregnant - what's important is being parents. BUT after the failed adoption I wonder if it's in our best interest to at least give it a chance with the MTHFR info under our belts since adoption in itself is not a "sure thing" either.

Every month I put off adoption for IF I just don't want to think I'm wasting my time when we could be moving forward. Know what I mean? I wish I had a magic 8 ball.

DH turns 30 on January 4th. I thought by this time we would have 2 kids already. Poor guy is almost completely grey haired from all of this. I'll be right behind him, turning 30 this coming June.
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