I have noticed this as well. I do get upset when other people try to parent my children. I don't want another adult correcting my children unless I've given them permission. If I am watching my kid and dealing with him/her, I consider it an insult to my parenting if someone else steps in. I understand that the other well meaning adult might think they are helping me, but that's just it. They are assuming that they know my child better than I do and that they can parent him/her better than I can. Without any information. Without any history. Just because I'm wearing a sign that says," I'm Stupid" across my forehead.
Ok, so that's the emotional reaction, and I realize it is not objective or entirely accurate. The kind of help I DO want from strangers when I am out is support. I love it when people say some thing like, "You sure are giving your mom a hard time. . .she looks like a good mommy, you should listen." Kids with RAD need to know that others trust and support Mom. It helps tremendously. You can really never go wrong with a comment like that.
I tend to be the "zero tolerance parent" due to the "zero tolerance society" that Claudia described. Society wants kids seen, not heard. Scratch that. Most places I go really don't want them to be seen either. I home school and have attachment issues. . .my kids are with me EVERYWHERE. It is not a good thing that I get so uptight about "keeping my kids in line." I should be more tolerant and less concerned about getting a stranger's roosies ruffled. I realize this as we move from just RAD behaviors that can heal to the never ending FAS behaviors. It really is the invisible disabilty. Even I have a hard time remembering that.
Care less about what the strangers think, more about what my kids feel.
I have noticed this as well. I do get upset when other people try to parent my children. I don't want another adult correcting my children unless I've given them permission. If I am watching my kid and dealing with him/her, I consider it an insult to my parenting if someone else steps in. I understand that the other well meaning adult might think they are helping me, but that's just it. They are assuming that they know my child better than I do and that they can parent him/her better than I can. Without any information. Without any history. Just because I'm wearing a sign that says," I'm Stupid" across my forehead.
Ok, so that's the emotional reaction, and I realize it is not objective or entirely accurate. The kind of help I DO want from strangers when I am out is support. I love it when people say some thing like, "You sure are giving your mom a hard time. . .she looks like a good mommy, you should listen." Kids with RAD need to know that others trust and support Mom. It helps tremendously. You can really never go wrong with a comment like that.
I tend to be the "zero tolerance parent" due to the "zero tolerance society" that Claudia described. Society wants kids seen, not heard. Scratch that. Most places I go really don't want them to be seen either. I home school and have attachment issues. . .my kids are with me EVERYWHERE. It is not a good thing that I get so uptight about "keeping my kids in line." I should be more tolerant and less concerned about getting a stranger's roosies ruffled. I realize this as we move from just RAD behaviors that can heal to the never ending FAS behaviors. It really is the invisible disabilty. Even I have a hard time remembering that.
Care less about what the strangers think, more about what my kids feel.