I'm takin shots.
Not the fun shots tho like the ones you see on Spring Break in Cancun.
I feel like sort of throwing up, although. That part's the same. The Lupron and the Menopur are kind of mixing in my stomach area and causing some queeziness. It's probably all in my head, but I feel like I drank a shot of tequila and hot sauce. We are almost a week before retrieval and I feel like ass already. No energy. Headachy. I gave my 6th period class a worksheet and told them to go at it. I'm not feeling the whole "teachy" thing at the moment. Blah.
Yesterday, I received an email from a friend. She is one of two my
LAST CLOSEST FRIENDS who
DOES NOT HAVE KIDS. You know how it go. You're dreading the phone call or email that you just KNOW is coming at ANY time to knock you on your ass. The "guess what I'm pregnant!" email or text or phone call. I'm dreading it from her. My 6th sense-infertility-o-meter is buzzing with activity. My antenna are up and I am sensing some prego-chatter. She has started, just last summer, to ask me questions about OPKs and advice on going off BCPs. In an email yesterday she asked me, "
A friend of mine wants to know if there is a test out that measures eggs or sperm or something that is over the counter?" And I'm like, "
Oh. My. Gawd?! Did you seriously just ask me that?"I swear to God, I think she was hinting at the First Response FSH urine test that just hit the market this month. I didn't think anyone but die hard IF ladies knew about that shit. I'm all like, "
Sonofabitch! She is
TOTALLY going to get
PREGNANT BEFORE ME!!!" Freaking out because I am sick as crap of my friends getting quickly knocked up while we are still TRYING. I know it makes no sense at all but I am totally fed up with God handing out babies to everyone around me who can stick two pillows under their butt. Fuck that shit, the next one's mine. I'll snatch it out of yo hands you greedy betch!
*I'm totally being sarcastic.
**But to every bit of sarcasm, there's also a bit of truth.
Did you know that the end of
April marks my 2 year anniversary of TTC? I find this signifigant in that our 2 year anniversary is also our 1st try at IVF. I'd love to tell people, "Yes, we tried for
two years before we got pregnant with X." It's simple to drop into conversation.
So among all of this, at least this crazy week has delivered something good. My
favorite band dropped a new single this morning, which makes all of the queezy inside go away at least for a little while.
It has been raining like crazy outside. The past couple of nights I go to sleep and wake up to thunder. It reminds me of something my mom used to say when I was younger. "April showers make May flowers." I am hoping that is somehow oddly signifigant. April = showers. May = flowers. Flowers = babies???? Was this some sort of
code that my mother was trying to have me decipher?
Funny the way it is....if you think about it. )
Not the fun shots tho like the ones you see on Spring Break in Cancun.
I feel like sort of throwing up, although. That part's the same. The Lupron and the Menopur are kind of mixing in my stomach area and causing some queeziness. It's probably all in my head, but I feel like I drank a shot of tequila and hot sauce. We are almost a week before retrieval and I feel like ass already. No energy. Headachy. I gave my 6th period class a worksheet and told them to go at it. I'm not feeling the whole "teachy" thing at the moment. Blah.
Yesterday, I received an email from a friend. She is one of two my LAST CLOSEST FRIENDS who DOES NOT HAVE KIDS. You know how it go. You're dreading the phone call or email that you just KNOW is coming at ANY time to knock you on your ass. The "guess what I'm pregnant!" email or text or phone call. I'm dreading it from her. My 6th sense-infertility-o-meter is buzzing with activity. My antenna are up and I am sensing some prego-chatter. She has started, just last summer, to ask me questions about OPKs and advice on going off BCPs. In an email yesterday she asked me, "A friend of mine wants to know if there is a test out that measures eggs or sperm or something that is over the counter?"
And I'm like, "Oh. My. Gawd?! Did you seriously just ask me that?"
I swear to God, I think she was hinting at the First Response FSH urine test that just hit the market this month. I didn't think anyone but die hard IF ladies knew about that shit. I'm all like, "Sonofabitch! She is TOTALLY going to get PREGNANT BEFORE ME!!!" Freaking out because I am sick as crap of my friends getting quickly knocked up while we are still TRYING. I know it makes no sense at all but I am totally fed up with God handing out babies to everyone around me who can stick two pillows under their butt. Fuck that shit, the next one's mine. I'll snatch it out of yo hands you greedy betch!
*I'm totally being sarcastic.
**But to every bit of sarcasm, there's also a bit of truth.
Did you know that the end of April marks my 2 year anniversary of TTC? I find this signifigant in that our 2 year anniversary is also our 1st try at IVF. I'd love to tell people, "Yes, we tried for two years before we got pregnant with X." It's simple to drop into conversation.
So among all of this, at least this crazy week has delivered something good. My favorite band dropped a new single this morning, which makes all of the queezy inside go away at least for a little while.
It has been raining like crazy outside. The past couple of nights I go to sleep and wake up to thunder. It reminds me of something my mom used to say when I was younger. "April showers make May flowers." I am hoping that is somehow oddly signifigant. April = showers. May = flowers. Flowers = babies???? Was this some sort of code that my mother was trying to have me decipher?
Funny the way it is....if you think about it.
)