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Happy Father's Day!

Posted Jun 21 2009 12:00am
Welp.

It's Father's Day. Adopted kids with attachment issues don't like Father's Day. My husband is the best father on the face of the planet imho. However, he is not the father three of my kids, 7 year old son much included, wants. He has learned that parents are bad. They cannot be trusted.



I had all five kids make a craft for Dad yesterday and they all loved giving it to him this morning, along with some other unexpected hand made goodies. It was the best Father's Day we've had so far. It was very sweet. Then we went to church and no one went crazy from the stress of the day. Another first success. Sweet success.



And then it happened. 7 year old son pushed our 20 month old son down on a tile step. Was it an accident? I think so. Everyone here thinks I think so. But a not-so-small part of me thinks it was on purpose because I watched 7 year old son attack his older brother a couple of days ago and he has attacked me several times over the last few months. I would never tell any of the kids that I suspect malicious intent. . .they would get mad at him and 7 year old son would use that as his new "go-to" bad behavior. It's bad enough if it was an accident, that 7 year old son now feels bad about himself more.



We rushed to the emergency room because the baby's teeth went all the way through his lower lip. His upper front teeth were chipped and bruised and bleeding. There was so much blood. I know that is common with mouth injuries, but it is still unsettling. My heart broke. I wanted to take his pain. The doctor was able to glue the puncture. The baby is in lots of pain and his whole mouth is swollen. I took my husband's mom and my 8 year old daughter with me back with the doctor to help keep the baby calm. My husband kept our 11 year old, our 8 year old boy, and 7 year old son in the waiting room.



This is where it got more interesting. 7 year old son began hitting our 11 year old son. Then he hit his dad. He was defiant. The older boys had tremendous patience with him. Dad had tremendous patience with him.

After two and a half hours, we were home. I asked 7 year old son why he was so mean to his Dad and brothers during the hospital visit. He said because he was nervous, no doubt because he'd heard us say that. Ok, that's good. . .internalize what is happening in your brain, son. But how does being nervous make you defy and attack? What does that do for you? The other children were a big help and I was so proud of them.

It wasn't all a loss. I stayed home with 7 year old son and the hurt baby and let Dad take the older three kids on a Father's Day bike ride. What a Dad.

I am emotionally drained. 7 year old son has pooped in his room and has started banging the walls since since I sat down to write this. Is the aroma of my home pleasing to the Lord?

**Edited to include more insanityWhen I went to get 7 year old son to have him participate in family devotions before bed, I asked him if he needed to potty. He stuck out his bottom lip and lowered his eyes in puppy-dog fashion. I asked him if he already used his bedroom. He said yes, I told him that's ok, it' s his choice. He got up, walked over to it in the closet, put his stuffed dino down in it and walked back to bed. I asked him why he did that. He doesn't know. I suppose I hadn't noticed the urine on the floor in front of the door the way he wanted me to, so he waked over to it and started dancing in it. I still didn't notice it. I told him I loved him and this is why it's hard to bring him out of his bedroom to do things--because I have to wash him head to toe every time because of the urine and feces in his bedroom.
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