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Braeden Update #2

Posted Jan 19 2013 10:04am
Braeden began school at his new placement on October 2.  (If you have not read part 1, you may want to read it HERE .)

When students begin their status is "neutral."  Below neutral they can move down to a status that is of concern/having issues.  Above neutral are each of the "positive" status levels.  Each of these (from what I've gathered thus far) requires at least three weeks of positive behavior, plus completing a packet with items to talk about and write about that pertain to that status, before they are allowed to "move up."  Braeden moved DOWN the very first day.  I was kind of glad they saw from day one what exactly had been happening, forgoing the honeymoon period, but it also made for a ROUGH first week at home as well.

Since Braeden was somewhat talked into "wanting" to go to his new school, those of us who "sent" him there, especially me, were now made to be the bad guys in his eyes because this was not all that it had seemed.  Truly I think it was more of he paid attention to those more positive aspects even though it ALL had been explained, and you don't start with all the privileges from day one.

His teacher and I went round and round the first week or so about a couple things as well, but in a way it felt nice to be able to advocate and not worry at the same time about my job, since he wasn't in our district any longer.  After a while she came to see (I think) that I wasn't questioning HER, that I was maybe more invested than some of the parents they typically get?, and that it wasn't MY parenting that has "caused" this behavior.  I THINK we are all on the same page now... trying to help Braeden figure this out and help with his behavior and the roller coaster of emotion that dwells inside him.

Braeden, once past the first week or so of ROUGH, moved quickly past his three weeks and into the first positive status level.  Shortly before moving up from that one, he had a rough day (they had gone bowling - unstructured environment - and when he was done he wanted to go to the arcade - but the kids weren't allowed (understandably!) - and he kept pushing and eventually "lost it".  He was moved down.  BUT... he didn't let that get him down.  He kept working at it and is hopefully moving up again soon.  

Since the first rough week or so we've had a couple of rough episodes, but it's been one episode within many good days.  And that helps.  

I see so much positive coming out of his placement.  First and foremost just that he isn't in MY school any longer has helped both of us.  Second, I know homework is a good thing, but for him, for right now, it was a battle.  Here he has no homework.  He still reads at home, we learn and discuss things.  We do "math".  But it's not "homework" so it works.  Hopefully once we're more past some of this we can incorporate homework again, but for now it's been good not to have it.  And third and most importantly, he incorporates what he's learned in his everyday.  I hear him reminding himself of some of the norms. (Listening and obeying the FIRST time, etc)  LOVE it!  

So all in all we do still have some rough times, but overall I think this has been a positive change.  I'm hoping that if and when he DOES transition back, that he will be able to incorporate all he has learned into becoming the student I know he can be.


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