Our meeting last night with our first agency was an EPIC fail. L
Basically, DH and I were looking to get as much information as possible on the agency’s programs to adopt. The director, although, only told us information on one program – the Russian adoption program. When we asked her about the other countries that they did adoptions through, she told us they weren’t really good options for us since “we want a Caucasian child” and “we don’t want another disrupted adoption.” Those quotes were NOT what we had told her – just her bias on what she THOUGHT about us.
So we got lots of information on Russian adoption and no information on any other sorts of adoption. The agency does domestic but she HIGHLY discouraged us from going that route because it isn’t a sure thing and we could get hurt again and we might not get a full Caucasian child. Plus we’d have to wait a long time. I, in no way, shape, or form told her in ANY MANNER of speaking that I even cared about ANY of those things – but she seemed to think those things were apparently issues with us because she kept bringing it up. Repeatedly. Plus she herself was a Russian immigrant – so she might have been leaning towards leading us to Russia for that reason, instead of possibly being open to other options and non judgemental.
We walked out of her office with a quote for a Russian adoption at $57,000 American dollars if we wanted to adopt through their agency. We could have a child, according to her, in the matter of months if we could front $12,000 to get things rolling – then pay the rest once the adoption was ready to go. Plus, we would either have to travel to Russia 2-4 times, depending on the region where we are adopting and their rules at the time. Keep $9,000 on our person to pay for Russian paperwork while overseas, as well as hotel, passport, plane tickets, etc.
I burst into tears when I got home.
Apparently, this is not the adoption agency for us. That sucks, because we liked our social worker so much we wanted to still work with her. We cannot afford $57,000 for an adoption. No way possible. Plus, DH and I think that this woman shot the figure way out of the ballpark. We know international adoption is expensive, but THAT expensive??? I would think more in the $30,000 range – but whatever.
Russia is out of our picture……………………….for now at least.
So I have some other agencies that I am looking into, as well as foster to adopt in my state. I am getting mail almost daily from agencies that I requested packets from and I am lining them up on our kitchen table in a row so we can look through them all and make a clear decision on one that FITS for us. Obviously, the two agencies I have met so far are not good fits. I have some other agencies I am looking into in our state (the Hoosier state, by the way) and some I am looking into in California and other places. We’re willing to travel. (Apparently just not to Russia.)
I know we could get hurt again. I know it might be another long wait. I know that our child might be biracial or fully of another race or with special needs. I KNOW ALL OF THAT and both DH and I are OK with that.
So our plan is to do domestic adoption again. Through a great agency out there somewhere. We’re looking and we will find it, slowly but surely.