It's been a month since my last post. Mainly because my life has turned upside trying to get prepared for baby. My photography business has taken off and I've been busy shooting weddings, and family shoots for the holidays. I'm very blessed God has given me the talent. I love doing it and eventually it will be my only job. So...all that aside....today is Thanksgiving day..and of all the days in the year-today is a day that I look back and reflect on what a year it has been. I have so many things to be thankful for this year. My list would be endless, but I will say that I am most grateful for: God, my husband, our birthmother, families, friends, and of course my little furry family. God has blessed us beyond words this year, and I have more to be grateful than I could ever imagine!
Mike and I are leaving in 2 days for a trip of a lifetime. A trip to meet our son. This journey has been nothing short of amazing. However, along with amazing it has been stressful, frustrating, exciting, sad, and scary.
When we started on this journey back in April when we turned in our initial application we went along with the theory they told us. The homestudy will take 8-12 weeks to completely finish (meaning written and approved by our social worker) and than we would begin our waiting period. Average waiting time with the agency is 6-9 months before there initial matach and than however long it is until the birthmom is due. (Typically birthmom's come in sometime towards the middle/end of 2nd trimester.) So-in all-she said plan on waiting about a year. PERFECT! That would be great for us because that would put us into march-through june of next year. Mike would be on summer vacation and work for me is pretty quiet. You know the saying..."If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans." God had an entirely different plan for us. On, Monday, August 3rd we got our homestudy in the mail-read it signed it and dropped it in the mail.
Monday afternoon our social workers calls us with a situation. We ultimately said no to this situation for many reasons. There were a lot of medical issues that we weren't comfortable with, and baby was due a week later. The hardest part of it was saying no-and wondering if anyone would say yes. I hope and pray that baby has found his forever home.
On Tuesday we got another phonecall from our social worker regarding another potential situation. We were asked if we wanted our profile shown, and we said we just need to think about it and pray about it. Ultimately we said yes-after thinking about it for about 12 hours....we both said if this is God's plan than it will be, but if not we are ok with that. On Thursday we got the call we had been matched. Waiting of just 3 days...AMAZING.
As I sit here this thanksgiving morning I think a lot about our birthmother. My heart truly breaks for her in so many ways. I hurt for her because as much as I already love this little boy she loves him so much-and yet she is giving him to me. And than again-as much as I love him, if she said she couldn't give him up, as sad as I would be, I don't know if I could be mad at her because that baby is hers first, and she loves him so much!
I talk with our Birthmom every few days. She's so wonderful. Always sweet and polite, always asking how we are doing. I can't wait to meet her in a few days and just give her a big hug and as much as I won't want to-I'll probably start crying right in front of her. There has been so many emotions running through me the past few days and weeks. I cry so easily and when I listen to the radio and hear certain songs I just cry. They are tears of joy and excitement and sadness for her. I was telling a friend of mine the other day-that as excited as I am for us, my heart just breaks, and its hard to have so many emotions and try and sort them all out-because I can't.
This holiday season is extra special for us. We have so much to be thankful for! I hope and pray that all of you have a happy and blessed thanksgiving as well. Give thanks for all of those you love, and for those of you who have adopted, don't forget to say an extra special prayer of thanks for our birth families.
So with all of that said keep watch for updates on Baby Ro....I've been told our lives are just beginning.....if thats the case-its going to be one heck of a ride!