I've been thinking about how to continue this blog-and if I even would continue it after we met our beautiful little boy. It's purpose when I started was to get "down on paper" all that I was feeling when it came to our struggle to build our family. Now that our beautiful little boy is in our life-it seems as though the purpose is over....well maybe the original purpose. Now I think its going to take on a new roll of how we are doing as a family...now a family of 3 (and 2 furry family members as well.)
Yesterday when I was talking on the phone to a sweet friend of mine who is pregnant with her first...we were talking about infertility a bit and how I tried my hardest to not let it take over my life. I tried to continue my life as normal-or as normal as it could be. To me infertility wasn't going to win. I would be a mom-I knew that was God's plan for me-just how was going to be a little bit different. While we were talking I was thinking back about the day Mike and I found out we would never have a biological child of our own. (Please note-as Oprah once said-"Biology is the least of which makes you a mother.") I was remembering that day and how it was filled with so much sadness-and then it popped into my head-it was 2 years ago-to the date that we had found out about our infertility. At that moment I looked down at my beautiful little boy who was sleeping in my arms and I told her-that none of what I went through mattered because of how blessed we are with Jeremiah. I would go through all of those feelings again in a heartbeat to get him. The hurt, the anger, frustration, confusion, emptiness-all of it-WORTH IT! He is by far the best thing that has ever happened to us.
2 years ago today-I thought our lives were over....but in reality that was God's way of closing a chapter in our lives and starting a new one. A new chapter on adoption-one that is going to be open for a long time-as we continue to build our family this way.
So-as I remember that day-I do feel a bit of sadness in my heart because I remember how much sadness we felt-but then I look at it and tell God thank you...without that day-we would never have been given the most amazing gift of all....our son.