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Understanding The Events That Impact Us

Posted Aug 23 2008 3:13pm

When visiting my own family, things generally get more than a bit chaotic. Gatherings usually lend themselves to pushing buttons, having disagreements, and typically ending up with an explosion or two. Much like the finale of fireworks on the 4th of July - we really put on a great show.

I often have joked that “The Osbournes” television show had nothing on us.

While I am not certain if that is the right thing to share or not, it is important nonetheless. It’s where I came from, and it has impacted my life and who I have become. Understanding these events and circumstances has done wonders for getting more clear about how I want to exist in this world.

Understanding Context

My whole life I have heard a few recurring things:

  • I have no inside voice.
  • I have lots of energy.
  • I am obnoxious.
  • I am gruff / forthright.
  • And much more…

If I didn’t know any better, I would think people were trying to insult me or point out all the “bad” things. But you know what - these are the exact behaviors and characteristics that have made me successful.

On the surface, these are definitely ways of describing who I am and how I exist in the world. But, what would they mean if we understood more than that…

The idea for this post came from spending time with my own family. Standing in my parent’s kitchen, I was amazed at how loud my father spoke on a consistent basis. Talk about having “no inside voice…” Did I get that from him? Did I get that from trying to stand out in a family of adults?

Having energy - yet another family trait. Being obnoxious… the men in my family are all creative thinkers who like to play around, have fun, and “clown around.”

Is it ADHD - It could be…

Quite honestly it brings up the “nature vs. nurture” debate of influence. Are we born with it, or do we learn it? While one does not just develop ADHD out of nowhere, it makes you wonder whether or not certain behaviors can be learned?

Bottom Line?

The bottom line here is that we really need to understand people on a more in-depth level than just “the individual.” We really need to understand who someone is, how they are being influenced, and under what circumstances, before we can truly determine the accurate diagnosis or differences.

We need to ask questions!

Yes - I have been “fighting” an ADHD diagnosis my whole life. I have never been “officially” diagnosed. In fact, it has never been suggested to me by my own doctors or professionals. Rather it has come from the opinions of those around me… And typically from people who never take a moment to ask the important questions .

Now maybe they are right… Maybe some of them are right… But for me, I have grown to understand who I am and how the world affects me. And most of all, I know how I react in certain situations.

I am different… There is NO disputing that fact.

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