The last few weeks and the next couple weeks are pretty chaotic. After that, school's out and Little League is over (at least for Luke) and things will calm down some. It has been so hectic I find that I am often reminding myself to start by just putting one foot in front of the other. Forget the crazy, overwhelming to-do list and concentrate first on movement in a forward direction. Sometimes there's no time for this reminder and the vicious circle begins.Left, right, left... Left, right left... That 'a girl!I am a planner. The complete opposite of my ADHD family (my son, Luke, is diagnosed but I still feel strongly his sister, Emma, and dad are both ADHD too). Yes the opposite, and yet exactly the same all at once. I need to know what my day will entail before it starts, so do Luke and Emma (daddy can fly by the seat of his pants, prefers it). I need to plan when I will pay what bill as soon as I get them in the mail, what the kids will do this summer 2 months before school lets out (and before most summer coordinators have solidified their plans, I found out), when we will complete each project to finally finish our house (I have an 8-page spreadsheet), etc. While Luke wants to know exactly what his day entails and what he will "do next, and after that, and after that, and after that..." (until even I don't know), the detailed planning I crave is too overwhelming to my ADHD co- horts. OK, I am often overwhelmed by it too. But it's not the planning that overwhelms, it's the 50+ hours of stuff I must cram into a 24-hour day. Cleaning house is always the first to get bumped off the list.For me, panic sets in when I can't figure out how to accomplish everything or I can't figure out where to get the money necessary to pay off a debt as originally planned or I can't afford occupational therapy for my son despite the fact that he NEEDS it. For Luke, panic sets in when the schedule changes without his approval. He cried for almost 30 minutes yesterday when his t-ball game was rained out. I swear, if we had gone to the ball park and played the game, he probably would have enjoyed himself but could take it or leave it. But when the game is cancelled and he has no control over it, it is just "done to him" so to speak, he falls apart. I guess it's really more of a control issue than a schedule issue. Yes, a need for control. I must remember that.So I am a bit panicked about the summer at this point. On June 11 th, the kids begin summer break. Because Luke so strongly needs predictability in his life, I have been working on a weekly summer schedule for a couple months now. Here's what I've come up with so far:- I chose a couple day camps for he and his sister, despite not being able to afford them. They will both take swimming lessons a couple days a week for 4 weeks and an art class 3 times a week for two weeks. But I can't fill up each week with an exciting activity outside the home. I just can't afford to.
- Regal Cinemas shows a free kid's movie twice a week during the summer ( click here for free movies and times in your city ). Last year we just planned to go to one movie each week (they play two movies a week two times a week) but this year I plan to see both movies each week if they are interested in that specific movie. The movies will fill 4 hours most weeks.
But that still leaves a lot of free time. Too much free time for my kiddos' comfort. So I planned a couple more weekly activities on our own:
- art day every Monday. I'm going to try to have a specific project planned for each Monday, a project we can do together at home.
- playground and picnic Fridays
- we have free admission to our local arboretum (NC Arboretum) on Tuesdays. Emma and I like to take photos and Luke sometimes likes to take a journal and draw what he sees. We'll go on Tuesdays foa couple hours when weather permits.
Here are my dilemmas with this GRAND PLAN though. What if it's raining one Friday and we can't go to the playground or 95 degrees on a Tuesday and we can't go to the Arboretum? That's a given at least a couple times this summer. Am I destined for a meltdown? Are the camps that are only predictable for a couple weeks just setting him up for disappointment when they end? Here's my plan to confront these dilemmas head on and make all our activities work:
- Sit down each morning after breakfast and discuss exactly what we will be doing when that day and be sure the schedule is posted for his reference.
- Give incremental warnings leading up to transitions.
- Discuss exactly how long each camp will last and when it will end at the start. On the way to each of these types of activities, discuss how many more visits until it's over.
My last dilemma is a big one: outside play. It may not sound like a dilemma at all to you. Let them go outside and play. As long as they have sunscreen on and plenty of water, not an issue, right? It's a big issue for us. We live on a mountain (about 3,200 feet elevation). We don't have a yard, just a forest. A forest full of bobcats and bears... oh my. I cannot be certain it's safe to just send them outside to play. So we had an idea to build a fence around a 20'x30' cleared slope right next to the house. Then I could send them out to the fenced area and they'd be safe to play, all day if they want. Good plan, exciting plan, costly plan. $600-800 we don't have (and that's building it from scratch ourselves, good thing we are handy). So I scrapped the idea when we realized the cost. The more I think about it, the more I think it's worth it though. No interest, no payments for 12 months. We'll worry about how to pay for it next summer. Ohy! I can't believe I said that. I don't believe in paying interest on anything but the house and cars. If you can't pay cash for items other than that, you shouldn't buy them. But is it worth breaking that rule this time? I am starting to think yes.
I am marching forward into summer even though I am marching into the unknown. What choice do I have,right? "I am woman, hear me roar" (the kids sure did this morning when they couldn't seem to get themselves together and get out the door to school). I can do this and be successful at it.
I want to hear from you. What activities have you planned for your ADHD child this summer? How do you retain predictability during the summer break? What art and craft projects do your kids enjoy?
Left, right, left... Left, right left... That 'a girl!
I am a planner. The complete opposite of my ADHD family (my son, Luke, is diagnosed but I still feel strongly his sister, Emma, and dad are both ADHD too). Yes the opposite, and yet exactly the same all at once. I need to know what my day will entail before it starts, so do Luke and Emma (daddy can fly by the seat of his pants, prefers it). I need to plan when I will pay what bill as soon as I get them in the mail, what the kids will do this summer 2 months before school lets out (and before most summer coordinators have solidified their plans, I found out), when we will complete each project to finally finish our house (I have an 8-page spreadsheet), etc. While Luke wants to know exactly what his day entails and what he will "do next, and after that, and after that, and after that..." (until even I don't know), the detailed planning I crave is too overwhelming to my ADHD co- horts. OK, I am often overwhelmed by it too. But it's not the planning that overwhelms, it's the 50+ hours of stuff I must cram into a 24-hour day. Cleaning house is always the first to get bumped off the list.
For me, panic sets in when I can't figure out how to accomplish everything or I can't figure out where to get the money necessary to pay off a debt as originally planned or I can't afford occupational therapy for my son despite the fact that he NEEDS it. For Luke, panic sets in when the schedule changes without his approval. He cried for almost 30 minutes yesterday when his t-ball game was rained out. I swear, if we had gone to the ball park and played the game, he probably would have enjoyed himself but could take it or leave it. But when the game is cancelled and he has no control over it, it is just "done to him" so to speak, he falls apart. I guess it's really more of a control issue than a schedule issue. Yes, a need for control. I must remember that.
So I am a bit panicked about the summer at this point. On June 11 th, the kids begin summer break. Because Luke so strongly needs predictability in his life, I have been working on a weekly summer schedule for a couple months now. Here's what I've come up with so far:
But that still leaves a lot of free time. Too much free time for my kiddos' comfort. So I planned a couple more weekly activities on our own:
Here are my dilemmas with this GRAND PLAN though. What if it's raining one Friday and we can't go to the playground or 95 degrees on a Tuesday and we can't go to the Arboretum? That's a given at least a couple times this summer. Am I destined for a meltdown? Are the camps that are only predictable for a couple weeks just setting him up for disappointment when they end? Here's my plan to confront these dilemmas head on and make all our activities work:
My last dilemma is a big one: outside play. It may not sound like a dilemma at all to you. Let them go outside and play. As long as they have sunscreen on and plenty of water, not an issue, right? It's a big issue for us. We live on a mountain (about 3,200 feet elevation). We don't have a yard, just a forest. A forest full of bobcats and bears... oh my. I cannot be certain it's safe to just send them outside to play. So we had an idea to build a fence around a 20'x30' cleared slope right next to the house. Then I could send them out to the fenced area and they'd be safe to play, all day if they want. Good plan, exciting plan, costly plan. $600-800 we don't have (and that's building it from scratch ourselves, good thing we are handy). So I scrapped the idea when we realized the cost. The more I think about it, the more I think it's worth it though. No interest, no payments for 12 months. We'll worry about how to pay for it next summer. Ohy! I can't believe I said that. I don't believe in paying interest on anything but the house and cars. If you can't pay cash for items other than that, you shouldn't buy them. But is it worth breaking that rule this time? I am starting to think yes.
I am marching forward into summer even though I am marching into the unknown. What choice do I have,right? "I am woman, hear me roar" (the kids sure did this morning when they couldn't seem to get themselves together and get out the door to school). I can do this and be successful at it.
I want to hear from you. What activities have you planned for your ADHD child this summer? How do you retain predictability during the summer break? What art and craft projects do your kids enjoy?